A fun app to test your own impairment

There’s a new app available for iOS and Android called Canary that lets you test whether or not you are in shape to drive. There’s an article about it here (though with some structural problems in the article).

It’s being connected with testing whether you’re too stoned to drive, but in reality it’s a basic test of impairment, whether from marijuana, alcohol, being too tired, or anything else.

I went ahead and downloaded it and have had fun checking it out. The four tests only take a couple minutes and really do seem to be aimed at determining if you are impaired.

First, a series of six numbers wander across the screen and twirl around one at a time. You must remember them and then properly enter the six digit number. You can’t continue until you succeed.

The second test uses the ability of the phone to detect movement. You stand still with one leg extended six inches. The test sees whether you can hold still without weaving.

Third is reaction time. A series of symbols flashes randomly across the screen and there’s one of them that you must touch every time it shows up (without touching the others).

Finally, it asks you to estimate when 20 seconds has passed.

At the end of the tests, it gives you a green, yellow, or red light based on your performance. You can also set a baseline so you can compare results against your own “sober” performance.

Of course, this is essentially the concept behind a normal field sobriety test, which determines whether you can carry out actual tasks that might be necessary to driving, rather than going on some kind of arbitrary measurement of what’s in your blood, breath, or urine that may have nothing to do with impairment.

I have this odd desire to try to get a red light on the app just to see how impaired I have to be…

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27 Responses to A fun app to test your own impairment

  1. Freeman says:

    Awww, no Android version. 🙁

    It’s the weekend, and I wanted to go for the red light!

  2. DdC says:

    I posted this article last week but never considered using it. I know how high I am after toking and I’ve never been too impaired to drive or have I ever had to drive if I felt too high. Waste of bud using it on reducing stress from other idiot drivers. Or would I attempt driving if I didn’t feel confident to do so. The entire concept is still treating it like booze that does have impairment.

    Canary App Permits Marijuana Consumers To Gauge Their Personal Performance

    Download and Canary yourself: https://appsto.re/us/QYxB7.i

    • DdC says:

      It would be interesting and seems feasible that this ap could be used for any reason. 😮 First thing in the morning or hungover or sick. OTC or scripted meds. Also for stoners. Stress from the boss or bureaucrats. Stress from a cop pulling you over. Sorry osifer, I can’t pull off to the side of the road, have to stop where I am – you’ve impaired me. 😱 Teachers stressing out students, drivers ed teachers. ヅ I guess the next step would be have it installed in all cars. Road rage, pull over. 😠 I noticed the autocars are being hacked, so they’ve recalled them. How could this be hacked to prove or disprove something? 😬 Then have a chip implanted would be the logical next step. 😎 People LoJack. You can’t drive, I’m alright. Shutdown muscles in legs. Noooo ☺

  3. darkcycle says:

    Hey. Anybody seen Mr. Wiggles recently?
    Okay. I haven’t heard a groan or a thump from Pete’s crawl way in a while. And he hasn’t left any droppings here by the couch.
    Who wants to go upstairs and look for the body? Any takers?

    • DdC says:

      Twit: 😎 ✔BIZ-nix, Mr. Wiggles on Tour ✔Wiki say Wiggles Jump, Stomp, Mr Croc ✔Rehab…

    • He's been selected as .... says:

      El Chapo’s running mate:

      The twice-escaped convict is hoping his upbeat vision of entrepreneurism and widespread name recognition can catapult him to the White House.
      “I have the experience, the will, the means and the testing — the testing that prepares you for the most important job in the world,” Mr. Guzman told an enthusiastic throng of supporters after he had emerged from a tunnel leading to a construction site near the State House in Concord, New Hampshire.
      Mr. Guzmán, who is believed to be in his late 50s and is the 17th candidate to enter the Republican race for the presidential nomination, played up his centrist appeal, portraying himself as a common-sense drug dealer who can fix a broken Washington.
      “Our job won’t be easy, but it is not impossible. Nothing is impossible. I am living proof of that,” Mr. Guzman said.


    • Duncan20903 says:


      I haven’t actually seen him but when I wanted to eradicate a wasps nest not too long ago all the darn Raid cans were empty. I know that you know how much he likes to huff the Raid.

    • Duncan20903 says:


  4. Pingback: Drive Responsibly for Privacy? | Spirit Wave Journal

  5. Frank W. says:

    Here we see where Oregon’s Lawsuit Olympics kick off:

    Also, from The Daily Courier:
    Suit seeks to overturn Medford’s marijuana ban

    The paper also features an article on Mandi Puckett’s “Clear Alliance” prohibition sect.

    A lot of Interesting Times ahead. This is the kind of thing I expected when 91 passed, should have known the crime element like the Puckett Gang would appear, especially when the popos busted the Coos Bay grow earlier this week.
    I’m tempted to go to the “Fifties Weekend” car show today and hand out buds to the geezers with W t shirts.

    • Hippie Chicks ROCK! says:

      “I don’t fit the lazy, stupid, loser stereotype.”

      Says the fired-from-her-job young lady interested in a cannabis-industry job. Probably faints at the sight of tie-dye t-shirts.

  6. claygooding says:

    Seems like a good app for new tokers and drinkers also but having driven semi trucks 48 states and Canada in a stoned condition it is impossible to relate impaired with stoned.

    Not all the time but from time to time I would run up on some and buy an ounce,,,then I would be stoned daily until it was gone,,so I wouldn’t get caught don’t you know..

    • Duncan20903 says:


      There are arguments against cannabis law reform that aren’t lame? Do I look like some kind of chump?

      You just gotta love the ivory tower crew. It seems like they prove that they earned that denigration almost every day of the week.

      • thelbert says:

        i stopped reading at the point where he says alcohol prohibition slowed down the consumption of alcohol, although there was an increase in crime. this guy seems to get a lot of his facts out of his arse.

  7. jean valjean says:

    Increasing world-wide coverage of this type of incident is convincing the rest of the world that the United States is losing its collective mind:


    • jean valjean says:

      Here a police officer’s widow gives a clear summary of how the drug war catches everyone in its madness:

      ” There is zero justification for kidnapping someone and locking them in a cage for choosing to partake in an arbitrary substance deemed “illegal” by the state. Locking people in prison, even for non-crimes such as drug possession, guarantees a drastic increase in that person’s chances of ending up in the criminal justice system again.”


      and the clearly insane Bill O’reilly on pardoning drug offenders:


      • Servetus says:

        Bill O’Reilly’s no legal eagle. He’s never been able to distinguish between crimes of violence and consensual acts that get labeled crimes by his fellow culture warriors. Meanwhile, increasing numbers of prohibition horror stories are drowning out grumpy old Bill-O.

        • Duncan20903 says:


          Mr. Bill is as un-American as they come. He’s a snake in the grass I tell ya guys. He may look dumb but that’s just a disguise. He’s a mastermind in the ways of espionage.

          My mom told me that people go to jail for doing something wrong. Mr. Bill thinks that people go to jail because they broke the law. If a law is repealed I believe that is very strong and compelling evidence that the crime was never a valid law. I don’t like people who try to make a liar out of my mom. I don’t like it at all.

          Mr. Bill should consider emigrating to a country where the citizenry promptly starts goose stepping and sieg heiling whenever they hear their masters snap their fingers. It’s a cinch that he’d be much happier. Hey, let’s all chip in and send him to Singapore! Shhh, don’t anyone tell him that Singapore has universal health care, elective abortions at gov’t expense in the first two trimesters, and no parental notification required for the younger girls.

          Regardless, he’s been a substantial asset to the cause of cannabis law reform. Not just because he’s got Rob Kampia on speed dial. Because he’s an elite level blistering idiot. With enemies like him we really have no need for friends!

        • kaptinemo says:

          LoofahMan is not one to pontificate on morals.

          BillO will soon be railing from a TV set up at the edge of a cemetery to reach FAUX’s main demographic; Archie Bunker is dead. And with him went social, political, and therefore, fiscal support for maintaining prohibition.

          I still have a hard time believing it myself when I say this, but it’s true: “Meet the new boss…and he is NOT the same as the old boss.” The new boss is that new electorate I keep harping on about. The one that wants cannabis legal again, some if only because of what enormous potential a hemp-based economy would entail.

          In any event, their voices are now being heard – and the pols are listening, and acting.

          LoofahMan can rant all he wants, but his audience is dwindling and he has alienated those FAUX needs to survive. Another dinosaur sinking into History’s tar-pit, bellowing ever louder as he sinks deeper and deeper into irrelevance.

  8. DdC says:

    Statism: The Most Dangerous Religion (feat. Larken Rose)

  9. Duncan20903 says:


    Wow, I’m kind of shocked. I go away for three days and there’s no conversation about the sycophants of prohibition deciding that they’re ready to play for all or nothing on Election Day 2016? Oh well, I’ve changed my mind about Mr. Trump getting the Republican nomination now that I hear that Bernie Sanders has tossed his hat into the ring. Oh man, think about it: The capitalist versus the commie!!

    Then toss in the prohibitionists ballot initiative to re-criminalize cannabis in California and the whole thing will be a wholly surreal event. Isn’t it remotely possible that both sides could win approval by the voters? What then? Sudden death overtime? Seriously, I really do think it’s going to finally put this controversy to bed. Of course first they have to actually get the required signatures. Prohibitionists have never been very talented about getting stuff on the ballot. 1990 Alaska is the only one I recall them doing so off the cuff.

    “First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

    • Duncan20903 says:


      Well speaking of Donald Trump, if he gets the nomination is there any speculation of who he’s going to pick for V.P.? Of course that presumes that there are some kind of laws or procedurals or whatever that prevent him from picking himself. I don’t recall seeing anything in the Constitution that says the POTUS can’t simultaneously be V.P. or vice versa.

      If his hair is imported doesn’t that disqualify him as being a natural born American citizen?

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