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I guess Kevin was right…

Marijuana Overdoses Kill 46 In Oregon During First Week Of Legalization

Only four days after Measure 91 passed, Oregon is reconsidering it’s decision to legalize recreational marijuana.

According to a report in the The Oregonion, 46 people were killed across the state since weed became legal earlier this week. Reports from MSNBC indicate there has also been 23 deaths in Alaska, and a a staggering 89 in Washington DC.

Several more marijuana victims are clinging onto life in local emergency rooms and are not expected to survive.

“It’s complete chaos here, I’ve never seen anything like it” says Dr. Steve Perkins, chief of surgery at Riverbend Hospital in Springfield. “I’ve put six college students in body bags since before noon, and more are arriving every minute. One young man came in extremely hungry and even started gnawing on his arm, until he collapsed in the emergency room.”

Well, I guess we learned our lesson the hard way.

[Just in case any random people wander by here who don’t know me, yes, I’m aware the article is satire. It’s a nice mocking of all the chicken little prohibitionists.]

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20 comments to I guess Kevin was right…

  • Duncan20903

    .
    .

    I don’t know, but maybe these jokes weren’t a very good idea? It’s not that they’re not funny because they are. The problem is that a lot of the prohibitionists just aren’t very bright people and in many instances are hopelessly unable to differentiate between fact and fiction.

    Maryland Police Chief Cites Satirical Article During Anti-Pot Testimony
    Annapolis police chief told lawmakers marijuana killed many in Colorado.
    2/26/2014

    The police chief of Annapolis, Md., warned state senators mulling marijuana legalization Tuesday that dozens died after getting high in Colorado Jan. 1, when the nation’s first recreational pot stores opened.

    “The first day of legalization, that’s when Colorado experienced 37 deaths that day from overdose on marijuana,” Chief Michael Pristoop testified during a Maryland Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee hearing, the Capital Gazette reports. “I remember the first day it was decriminalized there were 37 deaths.”
    /snip/

    • Crut

      .
      .
      I don’t find this to be a very well done satire overall, I chuckled a little, but it lacked panache, something. And as you point out, it’s been done before…

      Be that as it may, the example you show here with the Police chief getting hoodwinked is something we want to happen! High-ranking ignorant proclamations by public representatives are quite humbling (or destructive) situations, and expose more people to learn from others’ stupidity than they would otherwise from their own experiences.

    • Tony Aroma

      I believe this is that exact same article with the names and state changed.

  • Duncan20903

    .
    .

    Put your helmets on, this one is a triple thud!
    Colorado Residents Get A “Marijuana Tax” Refund

    /snip/
    Thanks to TABOR, Colorado’s taxpayer bill-of-rights law, tax revenue that comes in over a certain threshold is mandated to be returned to the taxpayers. Colorado is expecting excess revenue this year, as Governor John Hickenlooper has said, and a rebate will be in order.

    Why? Well, partly because taxes raised from the sale of marijuana have fueled the government’s coffers above and beyond what had been expected:

    Gov. John Hickenlooper’s proposed $26.8 billion Colorado budget, unveiled Monday afternoon, includes two rebates for taxpayers.

    A $30.5 million rebate for new marijuana taxes is coming. Total state marijuana revenue was different than what was projected in the election blue book for 2013’s Proposition AA. Because the estimate was off, under TABOR, the state must refund the money being collected or ask voters again to keep it.
    /snip/

    • claygooding

      They should lower the taxes and return the money to the consumers that paid it,,it would really piss me off of any Republican legislators got any of my marijuana tax money.

      • Windy

        Some people disagree, clay, they claim that letting the entire State population share in the bounty will increase support for the weed.

    • Windy

      Some did the math (30.5 million/Co residents) and depending on the population # used (they varied) the rebate works out to anywhere from $6-$17 per person. I suggested that instead of a rebate, they should allow it as a credit on some other State tax bill, seems like it would cost more to cut a check to every taxpayer than to let them choose which tax they want a credit which could all be done on computers and smartphones.

  • claygooding

    A young man was in need of a job today
    Made poor choices in the games he liked to play
    With a wink and a nod to his girl he did go
    Cause her urine would stand in fine for the show
    So off to the clinic he went with a plan that couldn’t fail
    Until the lab tech told him “Congratulations,,,your pregnant as hell”

    I am stil waiitng on the instant insanity and all the other promises the government has made if I smoked marijuana.

  • DdC

    Sabutt is a modern reincarnation of past Persecutors. Both Catholics and Protestant churches persecuted witches. The only difference being the form of execution, Catholics burnt witches while Protestants hanged them. Czar Barry said they were cancer. Czar Waldo caged them as criminals while Gossip Queen Sabetage wants them Asylumed as mentally degenerant capitalists. Although the ancient murderers didn’t profit as much. On tax dollars.

    Several of the victims were found to have “purchased” the dried flower “tops”. Police Chief Ensign Goober said they have been noticing more connections with “money” since people started “selling” it. Its pretty clear there is a casal connection and it might maybe potentially or even possibly have a “Gateway” effect on people. Leading to others wanting some of this money for themselves. On and on down the road until everyone is trying to make it. How are we going to take care of the poor if they make this money selling flowertops to sick people? Never thought of that did ya.

    With no laws against pot how are we going to fill all these new jails we bought with tax money? It could have gone to schools and what would that message be to the kids? America was conquered with Booze and Jesus and the Black Plague. Drugs, cigarettes, sugar coated everything and even transfarts, frankenfud and “Gluten” were good enough for our parents and grandparents by gawd. Not none of this natural crap or libgerbals “herbals”.

    Now the message to the kids is get healthy. No money in that. Won’t as many get sick, to treat selling products. The Ahmerican dream. Not as many car crashes smoking that shit. Less bandages needed, IV’s and literally liters of Ringers Lactate. Less bottles and cans and plastic ez open pill containers. Down right against the flag. Sold at MalWart’s on sale. Made in China with Iraqi crude oil by kids in sweatshops taking American jobs.

    More cops are retiring and we only have one ranchette and a few Condo’s on the forfeiture list. Christmas is coming, less confiscations during their best season is not protecting and serving. Especially cash. Launder more money giving it to prohibition propagandists and tax shelters donating to Gossip Queens. Snitching on your neighbors and family, the American way. Snoop and Sneak search warrants. Dogs finding drugs on command. No knock kick the door down on the wrong address adventures shooting dogs and innocent bystanders as our founding fathers predicted.

    Legalizing sends the wrong message for the drug war investors and brokers. Think of the children, just not the ones reducing their seizures from 300 to 2 or 3.

    The Chronic Chronicles: A History of Pot http://thebea.st/YFblJR

    THE BURNING TIMES
    WITCHCRAFT, CANNABIS AND THE ROLE OF THE CHURCH
    http://antiquecannabisbook.com/chap2B/Church/Witch.htm
    We probably will never know. Nor will we ever really know exactly how many women healers (a.k.a. witches) were tortured and executed during the 14th, 15th and 17th centuries. However, what is known is that a great deal of herbal knowledge was executed with them. This perhaps may help to explain why so much of our medical knowledge (especially about medical marihuana) was lost during the dark ages. Maybe this in part also helps to explain why the West fell so far behind so many other civilizations (Hindus, Mohammedans, the Chinese etc.) in medical knowledge.

  • Justin Auldphart

    It is an indisputable fact that anyone who has ever tried (or even thought about trying) that pesky Devil Weed will eventually die…

  • claygooding

    I think we need a deck of cards,,you know,,similar to the Iraqi cards only instead of terrorists we can put CEOs of all the big pharm companies and other known prohibition supporting organizations as public identification of the people keeping this insanity going.
    It could even be a website with their pics and profiles on them,,let them think about everyone in America knowing exactly who they are.

    http://tinyurl.com/oysdnmb

    Are We In the Final Days of Marijuana Prohibition?

    “There’ a rising tide of acceptance of the fact that people are going to smoke marijuana, and it’s like the prohibition against alcohol in the 1930s. There’s a recognition that perhaps the laws are causing more harm than the drugs themselves,” says Rick Steves, author and travel host. ‘end’

    The only thing keeping marijuana prohibition alive is lobby money and is the proof of how imperative it is we get the money out of Congress.

  • claygooding

    AND NOW THE GREED BEGINS TO BUILD,,,,and the many will overrun the few.

    Cannabis Stocks are on Fire

    http://tinyurl.com/kroj3zb

    AVTC) (www.autoretail.com), is a manufacturer of marijuana storage and dispensing systems for use in cannabis dispensaries nationwide, Through an exclusive manufacturing partnership with Medbox, the company makes these systems available to medical marijuana dispensaries and adult-use retail outlets in states with legal programs.

    AVT builds these high tech systems that require fingerprint identification to help dispensaries stay in compliance with regulations, while creating a record of transactions for transparency purposes. Management believes that providing this level of legitimacy to the market will help the industry continue to grow at a fast pace.

    A recent report in the Washington Post said the legal cannabis industry could reach revenues of $35 billion by 2020. “snip”

    The need for a fingerprint policy will disappear with legalization.

    • allan

      once again “convenience” bites us in the ass. But anyone that pays attention in the laundry aisle at the store can smell the perfumed toxicity. Another industry (laundry aids) producing worthless (or worse than worthless) must-haves.

    • TwilightClone

      Tide (United States) is a factor in the following:

      * 0.003% of all felonies * 0.0073% of child beating cases * 0.041% of rape cases * 0.080% of wife battering cases * 0.0072% of stabbings * 0.0083% of homicides.

      According to the Australian National Washing Powder Institute (2003): “The research into the global burden of disease attributable to washing powder found, that in 2000, tide use was responsible for 4 deaths worldwide, equating to 0.071 percent of all washing powder-related deaths.

    • B.Snow

      This is a practical example of the Great Carlin’s critique of society turning our planet’s population into a group of humankind that is so devoid of enough situations that promote “survival of the fittest” = to a degree, That we are all (quite surely) DOOMED!

      We’re trying to cover the world in nerf,
      And trying to “protect” everyone. In particular = ALL of “The Children” [he called it child worship IIRC] = which is not how its meant to work, (Some of them are supposed to win “Darwin Awards”) albeit sadly.

      “The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn’t grow up to have kids of his own. Simple as that. Nature knows best.”

      But don’t try telling that to these people – they’ll probably come up with a way to make the detergent pods packaging taste horrible. (But make clothes washed in this stuff still smell good – Somehow[?] Because the two senses are so closely connected.
      I can’t figure out how parents wouldn’t be able to put the detergent where kids young enough to actually EAT ONE = (rather than just put one in their mouths briefly & then spit it out?

      I could see that happening – a couple traggic times accidentally. But, we’re to believe that it so common an occurance that they have to re-work their products??

  • darkcycle

    I promise the “green” hit every time I load a bowl for a week to the first couch-mate to produce a prohibitionist citation of the above piece.