Applying for a new job

Seems promising…

Dear Hillary,

I am writing to apply for the post of drug war publicist for your Mexico Drug War. I have over ten years of experience publicizing various aspects of the drug war and believe that I could step in immediately and help reinvigorate your drug war visibility.

I’m thrilled to see you’re looking to move in this direction. Clearly, past efforts by the State Department to publicize the drug war have been less than fully effective, as drug war awareness barely reaches the level of political discussion. It certainly hasn’t helped that the ONDCP director has undermined these efforts by bizarrely claiming that the war doesn’t even exist!

I have some great ideas and feel like I’m ready to start on the ground running. I figure one of the first things we can do is more widely distribute some of the most gruesome images of Mexican victims, in media throughout the United States. Then, in the Mexican press, we distribute images of U.S. soldiers (or DEA agents) shooting at Mexican nationals on Mexican soil. This should give us a good start.

I have many more excellent ideas like this and would love to bring them to the State Department’s War on Drugs. I am confident that I can increase the public’s awareness of this war in no time.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.


Pete Guither
Experienced Drug War Publicist

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16 Responses to Applying for a new job

  1. n.t greene says:

    Please say you sent that in.

  2. Servetus says:

    “’In the five years since we announced the Merida Initiative, our efforts have led to major quantitative and qualitative advances in bilateral cooperation against transnational organized crime,’ they [Sec. of State Hillary Clinton and Mexico’s Secretary of Foreign Affairs Patricia Espinosa] said in a joint statement Sept. 18.


    Quantitative: 60,000 deaths of impoverished Mexican nationals and counting. The death toll exceeding the total of American soldiers killed in Viet Nam. The drug market generating millions in laundered cash. Billions of dollars in military and paramilitary hardware being dumped on Mexico to sustain and promote the American prison industrial complex. All quantities – money, death and otherwise, are rising like Cthulhu from its underwater pit.

    Qualitative: The living standard of Mexican citizens in dangerous drug territories continues to deteriorate. No evidence exists of a diminishment of drug war hostilities. Despite what seems to be some kind of gag order by both the U.S. and Mexican governments involving accurate disclosure of death tolls and gun running profits involving the border war, evidence persists that the situation in Mexico is definitely not advancing, unless it’s some kind of race to the bottom.

    Bilateral cooperation against transnational crime? Screw it.

    Note: If my preceding example of public relations skills is what the U.S. State Department is seeking, I hereby offer my services.

  3. thelbert says:

    watch out, Pete, they may require you to lie. i think that’s what the strategic communications part means.

  4. claygooding says:

    Do I have to bring my own shovel to spread the bullshit or do they furnish one?

  5. paul says:

    You forgot to detail your television campaign using the State department budget.

  6. You can sell air conditioners to an Eskimo if you have the right PR firm. Myself, if I believe in the product I can PR it. If I don’t, I can’t. Now, I have met people that did not have that requirement of believing in the product and could sell it anyways because money after all was the object. From my point of view if I don’t believe in the product I feel dishonest selling it. I guess it all depends on your priorities.

    A PR Advisor for the drug war. Hmm… thats a tough one. That would take some real character.

  7. Dante says:

    The State Dept. wants a “PR Advisor” for the Drug War?

    That would be funny if it weren’t so tragic. Do the Drug Warriors even know how stupid and ironic this appears? Any attempts to spin the wrenching failure that is the Drug War into a pot of gold will result in public ridicule and further loss of credibility.

    Also, ain’t it Gil’s job to lie about the Drug War?

  8. Jose says:

    Pete, in case you get the position…..
    I would love to see the Above the Influence PSA brought back. The one with the girl melting into the couch.
    I think in your version it ends with the DEA smashing into the house, guns a’blazin as they confiscate a roach. Maybe the Wachowski brothers could be brought in on it to give it a “Matrix” look and feel too!

    • War Vet says:

      Or one that has an American soldier getting shot by an Afghan police officer or soldiers getting killed in their vehicles -all saying “Drugs will kill you -drug money that is.” Maybe another one that shows the DEA (and or Cops) pushing down the World Trade Center Towers and laughing about it at the cop bar -since we all know they were the ones who conducted 9/11 with their position on keeping drugs illegal for the terrorists to utilize as a money maker -and they knew it and yet don’t stop dope or drug money 100%, which makes them accomplices in war, crime, treason and murder.

      • kaptinemo says:

        The history of the sick, sordid relationship between organized crime and the intelligence agencies (and by derivation, the military) of various nations throughout the entire 20th century and early 21st has been well documented.

        The seminal work that first exposed the symbiotic relationship was Professor Alfred McCoy’s The Politics of Heroin in South East Asia Just about everything written after has mainly amplified what McCoy wrote so long ago.

        That the global drug trade has led to the useless, pointless, infuriating sacrifice of the lives of countless soldiers, in many lands, not just ours, while the beneficiaries of that trade enjoy de facto immunity for their crimes (as in the banksters who crashed the economy and rode out the inundation of everyone else in lifeboats made of laundered drug money, and are still walking free amongst us) is a testimony to just how corrupt a government can become once that alliance is made.

        • War Vet says:

          Do you think the first war of this kind was the Opium Wars or something older when it came to mind altering substnaces? Of course, we have to assume much of the wars waged in North Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia in the 18th and 19th (eveb in Roman times and before) Century was financed by legal opium and hashish -akin to rum and beer (taxed) financing European and North American militaries, though those drugs were not nearly so significant at paying the war bill, like illegal drugs of today are, which foots the vast majority of the war bills in 3rd World Nations and questionable/unauthorized Black Ops/spies of 1st and 2nd world Nations.

        • kaptinemo says:

          Without a doubt they were…but the intent back then was actual physical imperialism. (For example, what the Japanese did with opium in occupied Manchuria.) What we’ve had with the past 70 some years has been a kind of crypto-imperialism, performed mainly through the use of banks as control-nations-by-debt…and the capital of those banks has been for a very long time the laundered proceeds from the formerly-legal and now presently-illegal drug money.

          An excellent book on the subject is Confessions of an Economic Hit Man. Also, the works of authentic journalist Greg Palast make it quite clear that there is a very real template, a mechanism, by which local indigs are first tempted to play the game by betraying their own people for the corp-rat equivalent of 30 pieces of silver, and if they resist the temptation to do so, are ‘eliminated’ in order to place someone more compliant in charge.

          But in the end, its’ the patriots, the soldiers, who get the chop. In this one respect, and only in this one respect, were the Commies correct when they said American soldiers fighting them were ‘dying for Wall Street.’ And, deity help us, they still are; we’re still in A-stan because of the vast mineral wealth the Soviets discovered while they were there. Same old game, and the patriots get used by the internationalist Uber-Rich, who never have to risk soiling their hands, but get all the benefit.

  9. SCOOBY says:

    A possible reply to your letter:

    Dear Pete,

    Thank you for your response to the position in question. However, uuhh….eerrr…..we were actually looking for someone to advocate for our side with a slighltly different perspective.

    It is vital that we extend this conflict for at least another forty or so years, and we are looking to highlight such success as our prison for profits program in which we not only make big money for our investors, but have the added pleasure of demoralizing offenders lives to the extent that they are no longer pesky in areas such as individual thought and action.

    Well Pete, I am sure you get my meaning about what the job position entails. You seem to be quite a creative young man and if you can just see your way past some of the…how should I say…eeerrr…bumps in the road to victory, we may have a suitable position for you…at taxpayers expense of course.

    Hope to hear from you soon.


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