Latest breathless headline from the Telegraph (UK): Cocaine found in nine out of ten baby changing units
Wow! That’s the mother load for tabloid journalism: children (babies!), drugs, and statistics.
The article goes on to discuss all sorts of completely irrelevant stuff related to drugs and Amy Winehouse along with the obligatory anecdotal story of a former addict:
“Coke came first, my child came second.”
So, what’s with the baby changing tables? Cocaine traces were found on 92 of 100 of these in a particular area including ones in “shopping centres, hospitals, police stations, courts and churches.”
Hmmm, seems a little odd to me (unless you’ve got some thrill-seeking coke user who is bent on hitting every baby-changing table in the region). Who were the scientists doing this study?
The team of Real Radio journalists who carried out the study… The tests, carried out by using specialist wipes…
Bet you five bucks that there’s a common element like baby powder that causes false positives with those “specialist wipes.” In fact, a little googling will show that baby wipes have been found to cause false positives in certain drug testing devices.
But that’s not as interesting a story, is it?
Judging from the title, I thought that 90% of babies tested positive for coke.that would have been an interesting read lol
Oh…fer gawds sake.
OMG! What about the kids man, the kids. I don’t feel safe anymore, I must forfeit more rights and freedoms that they hate us for.
Won’t anyone think of the children(s changing stations)?
Oh, the horror!
Are people really doing lines of coke off of baby changing stations? 0_o
Ugh. Having changed enough diapers in my life to not ever want to see another one again, you have to marvel at the stomachs of some of those useful idiots at the Telegraph. Most people never clean those places off after they’re used (shudders).
I’m a diaper changin’ daddy rite now, and it churns my guts.
I have an idea: stop Kerlikowske or Sabet in the streets and test their wallets for residue.
I would but there’s a 3 day waiting period to acquire the testing kit.
STAY AWAY from the brown coke!!!
And the yellow snow, for that matter.
I miss Frank Zappa. He would have loved tearing this kind of pop-culture insanity to shreds.
Dreamed I was an eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots and around my toes
The frost that bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero…
And my mama cried
Don’t be a naughty eskimo
Save your money, don’t go to the show
And she said, with a tear in her eye
Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow
“donâ€™t you eat that yellow snow” was the very first drug law (long before do not eat that apple):
The yellow snow not-to-eat is the one coloured by reindeers after ingesting fly agaric mushrooms, that snow was used by white-bearded shamen in red coats for their flights on sleighs….
Back in the day when I was into the crack they hadn’t yet started installing those changing tables but if they had existed then I’m almost certain I would have put them to use. Public restrooms were a favorite recharging place for the people who were my associates as well as for myself back in the day. I’m not sure why that would be different today, they’re very convenient and the authoritarians still haven’t been able to figure out how to install cameras in the stalls so they’re very private.
One thing that is never mentioned when these stories are printed about trace amounts of cocaine being detected here and there but primarily on currency is that it seems clear to me that cocaine persists on the surface of an object for a very significant period of time. The only way that 90+% of bills can have traces of cocaine is if the stuff just never goes away. I’m not so certain that the tests need to be inaccurate to explain the results, especially in Big Brothersville where perhaps one of the only places you might be certain that you’re not on camera is in the head. The British love their cameras.
Thats nothing…lets c what they do with this….
Oh, Hell, frakkin’ NIDA again. Always on the lookout for any possibility of more funding for studies, no matter how silly-assed they are.
Jeez, don’t these goofs realize we’re broke and can’t afford this Golden Fleece Award stuff anymore?
Why bother with individual urine tests when you can just test the entire county? OK, it’s an oldie but will always be a classic in the “WTF are these people thinking??” category:
It really is true that it requires a particular form of organic brain dysfunction to qualify as a bureaucrat. It’s just not arguable anymore.
There is no limit to the amount of money the drug warriors will spend to prove they are needed.
A word on the source of the article – the UK Telegraph – a fear-mongering iron-lady worshipping conservative paper for mostly older managerial class commuters and retired old ladies(of both genders).
They apparently like stoking their readers’ fear of the unruly young going about ruining the country!
Ah, yes… the fear that “a clockwork orange” was a prophetic documentary.
that’s why Gil is called the Droog Kzar…
In fact I’m sure that the cartoon Droopy Dog appeared in a bowler… and surely someone can photoshop a bowler on Gil. Bless his pointed little head (hat tip to Grace Slick And Jefferson Airplane).
This one is a must click if for nothing more than a look at the picture of the drunk old man in pink babydoll & g-string:
ugg…not what I needed first thing in the morning, Duncan.
Isn’t that much what you get first thing every morning when you go to brush your teeth? Oh that’s right, that’s why you had the mirror taken out of your bathroom. Sorry old man, my bad.
No way. Put a bag over my head and I look good for an old guy (from the waist up, that is, my legs turned into sticks-for some reason when I lost all that weight it was from the belt down).
It’s nothing new; he’s probably on the gay side of bourbon street. I once saw a drag queen directing traffic out that way. Really funny. But the best bars are in the Marigny.
The NY Times is on fire, again. In an op-ed:
“The tests, carried out by using specialist wipesâ€¦”
Baby wipes that also test for cocaine? What a weird combo. I mean, I can understand being concerned about the possibility that your teen child is hiding a coke habit from you, but an infant? I guess kids really are growing up faster these days…
Speaking of specialty wipes, it wasn’t too long ago that I learned that back in the old days before toilet paper that people used corn cobs to serve that purpose. Most confusing I must say. Fresh or cured? Do they go vertical or horizontal? Perhaps optional depending on personal preference? Why did it take so darn long to invent toilet paper? Would pranksters break into their neighbors outhouses and dip the corncobs in lemon juice and black pepper? Life really is a mystery at times. [sigh]
Heck, cocaine is everywhere. Four out of five dollar bills test positive for cocaine, and this is from the debunkers of urban legends:
Why not public baby-changing tables, which are often in retail businesses? If you tested the parents’ fingers, you’d find coke there, too, even on the fingers of the most devout non-inhalers.
We’ll send them all we’ve got:
“The entire police force in the Mexican port of Veracruz was dissolved on Wednesday in an effort to root out corruption, and armed marines were sent in to patrol.
A state spokeswoman, Gina Dominguez, said 800 police officers and 300 administrative staff had been laid off.
Armed marines barricaded police headquarters and navy helicopters flew over the city where 35 bodies were dumped in September in one of the worst gang attacks of Mexico’s drug war.”
…the Marines were pleased by the promise of extra income just in time for Christmas. The locals were annoyed at having to figure out the new address of where to deliver their periodic payments to cover la mordida.
And local dealers now have added customers because even soldiers get high.
And not unlike others of another generation:
Must be all them “crack babies” we heard so much about YEARS ago. LMAO
How did I miss that one EZ? I must be slackin’ 🙂
After all them dire warnings we got unloaded on us years ago, I’ve just been waiting for those babies to show themselves. And now, those babies are having babies of their own. You just KNOW Kerli missed that one, too! LOL
You’re not slackin’. You just crusin’ while you’re readin’. 😉
A drug war carrol:
Ten dankest marijuana strains of 2011
Our marijuana critic, William Breathes, smoked more than 140 different samples of medical marijuana in 2011. We sent him down fuzzy-memory lane and asked him to pick out the top ten strains he smoked, and here are the results along with the original strain writeup from his Mile Highs and Lows dispensary review.
WARNING,,slide keyboard where you don’t slobber on it.