Help Wanted

Brilliant! Via Tom Angell at

One of the U.S.’s foremost drug policy reform organizations is lending a tongue-in-cheek assist to the country’s top anti-drug enforcement agency.

The Drug Policy Alliance (DPA) is taking out a mock “Help Wanted” ad to aid the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) in finding a new leader in the wake of its administrator’s recently announced resignation.

Here’s the ad:

Drug Policy Alliance DEA ad

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20 Responses to Help Wanted

  1. jean valjean says:

    Poor Michele…. she finally gets the top job just in time for the bottom to fall out of the whole prohibitionist scam…watch the self-pity and demands to be compensated for “career damage.” What we wont hear is any call for redress for those whose lives she has destroyed.

  2. double/cream/custard says:

    The term dates back at least to the 1870s in the United States, close to the peak of Irish migration. The OED’s recent revisions link Patsy with Pat and Paddy, the stereotype of the bogtrotter just off the boat. The American Heritage Dictionary and Online Etymology Dictionary quotes the OED it may derive from the Italian pazzo (“madman” ), and south Italian dialect paccio (“fool”). Another possibility is the term derives from Patsy Bolivar, a character in an 1880s minstrel skit who was blamed whenever anything went wrong, in Broadway musical comedies, for example in The Errand Boy [1904] and Patsy in Politics [1907].

  3. divadab says:

    Truth in advertising for an organization required to lie.

  4. Pingback: Mock Ad For New DEA Chief - YaHooka Forums

  5. Hope says:

    Very good, Mr. Angell! That is truly what they do.

  6. claygooding says:

    They left out “must be an accomplished liar with no empathy or moral character”.

  7. double/cream/custard says:

    “Rav Nitzav Yohanan Danino (Hebrew: יוחנן דנינו‎; born 1959) is an Israeli police officer who has served since May 1, 2011 as the 17th chief of the Israel Police.”

  8. Servetus says:

    Colorado state Rep. Gordon Klingenschmitt believes marijuana is hallucinatory, like LSD or DMT, and that its consumers get eaten by demons:

    Recounting a story about a Colorado business owner who supposedly moved his company out of the state after voters legalized pot, Klingenschmitt declared that people who smoke pot are inviting a “demonic spirit of drunkenness” to take control of them.

    “When you begin hallucinating, I’m told, and you begin seeing these images,” he said, “you’re having apparitions and you are seeing and interacting with and welcoming to rule your heart a demonic spirit of drunkenness. That’s not recreational. It’s evil.”

    Citing 1 Peter 5:8, which says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour,” Klingenschmitt somberly asked, “Do you really want to be devoured by the Devil?”

    For Klingenschmitt and other prohibs who’ve never tried it, marijuana is an abstraction to which any number of delusional beliefs can be attached, a convenience that allows demagogues to spread fear in opposition to science and reason. Klingenschmitt represents the dying breed that uses recreational drugs as a wedge issue to seek social domination through a rejection of church/state separation. He is not alone.

    • Duncan20903 says:


      I’m always suspicious of vacation resorts that feel a need to constantly advertise how they’re such a desirable destination. I’m even more suspicious of those which feel a need to denigrate the competition as well. I never hear the Satanists hyping up how great life is in Hell, and how you’ll regret going to Heaven if you go that way. Yet every month of the year millions of people head to Hell after shuffling off this mortal coil. Just look at the list of stuff you can’t do if you want to get into Heaven! There’s no way that place could be any fun. Eternal bliss? Eternal boredom is much more likely.

  9. Rosenberg named to head troubled DEA, replacing Leonhart

    Chuck Rosenberg appointed acting DEA administrator

    FBI director’s chief of staff. Attorney General Loretta Lynch: “As Acting Administrator of the DEA, Chuck will play a vital role in the work of this Administration and this Department of Justice to pursue American priorities, protect American interests, and safeguard our way of life.”

    What way of life is that, Loretta? The drug war way or the majority public opinion way?

    • Official Department of Justice Office of Public Affairs announcement:

      • kaptinemo says:

        This is like the sinking Titanic having a female captain, who’s just turned over command to her XO and joined the women and children in the lifeboats.

        She survives with her pension; he gets to go down with the ship. And he has to have figured out what is going on.

        Just as predicted here, the opportunistic Congresscritters smell blood, and are already sharpening their political knives. With all these scandals, DEA is political ‘meat on the table’. With any luck, Mr. Rosenberg’s last official act will be to turn off the lights and lock the door for the last time at DEA HQ.

      • Servetus says:

        Chuck Rosenberg, one more bug-splat on a 300 mph freight train.

  10. DdC says:

    I’d say the DEA personnel will probably assimilate under the Homeyland Insurance Agency umbrella. After a few hissy fits, conniptions and crying jags. They still have the 200+ foreign offices that will be tightly gripped. The absolutely worthless tax eating unAmerican activity is NIDA and their Nora and whatever the ONDCP does. Paid bullshit to dupe the public is beyond reason. That is where I find it hard to believe there are still those thinking it’s a noble cause or at least must be out of good intentions. Either stupidity and CED has warped the thought process or they know and go along or even profit on it. Either case, they should not be making policy or writing laws. The only tax dollars that should be spent on these hate mongers are for cages to remove them from society for the menace they are.

    Where is the ONACP or NIAA
    Office of National Alcohol Control Policy
    National Institute on Alcohol Abuse

    ‘Worrying’ rise in binge drinking among youths, women

  11. Francis says:

    Wow, this really underscores how unfair it is that Michele Leonhart was forced to step down. I mean, she was perfect for that job.

    • Duncan20903 says:


      Francis, I just want to mention that I very much admire your ability to see things from an alternative perspective.

  12. kaptinemo says:

    Something needs to be pointed out to the pols, here, and this is the perfect time to do it:

    Every Federal bureau charged with prosecuting the War on Drugs has been mired in scandal from their inception. Every. Single. One.

    For example, the case of Levi Nutt, first head of the forerunner of the DEA, the Federal Bureau of Narcotics.

    La Leonhart’s downfall and Nutt’s were eerily similar: agents colluding with gangsters, corruption, etc.

    In 1930.

    The point being? How many examples of this are needed before the entire agency is scrapped for the non-starter it always was? How many more embarrassments will be allowed? Questions to be asked of the Senate…

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