Oh look! Guinea Pig bedding!

Earlier this month, I thoroughly ridiculed, some upcoming Reefer Madness-style sensationalism from Nicky Taylor and the BBC.
Well, it’s happened. Nicky Taylor discovered first-hand the horrifying effects of smoking marijuana and is sharing her terrifying ordeal with the rest of the world…

“I felt absolutely terrified,” recalls Nicky, a divorced mother-of-three, thinking back to her first experience just over a month ago.
“Paranoia set in, and I felt as if I was having a panic attack. At one point, I was simply too frightened to get out of my chair.
“I had a feeling the drug had unlocked some sort of paranoia in my head that would never go away again – I suddenly felt everyone hated me. Without doubt, that was one of the worst moments of my life.”

The Daily Mail was thrilled to be able to help disseminate the information:

While some will question Nicky’s wisdom in committing herself to such an experiment when she is a mother of three young children, there is little doubt that her experiences are both enlightening and cautionary to anyone who might think cannabis is harmless.

I guess the British media and Nicky Taylor were providing a public service to inform the millions of people who had smoked cannabis that their first-hand experiences were, in fact, false.
So I called my friend George, who lives in a London suburb, and asked him about the article and the BBC piece.

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed. “I’ve often had a bit of skunk on the weekend with friends or when going to an Arsenal match, and I thought I was enjoying it. But apparently I’ve been terrified. Who knew?”

Who knew, indeed? I really don’t understand the British press. I had even thought the BBC had some kind of cred, but if they’re showing “documentaries” like this, apparently they’re like some kind of National Enquirer (I already knew that about the Daily Mail).
Are their readers/viewers really that stupid that they accept this nonsense? Cannabis is so widely used that Reefer Madness is just not effective as propaganda anymore.
The Daily Mail piece really gets hilariously surreal at one point, when Nicky Taylor apparently fails to realize that certain effects of cannabis are features and that anyone with 2 more brain cells than moron knows you don’t conduct an interview while stoned (particularly if you can’t handle it)

“At one point, I went to interview the man who runs Amsterdam’s hemp museum after smoking cannabis,” says Nicky. “I wanted to appear professional – as any reporter from the BBC would. But this proved to be next to impossible. I was giggly and could hardly keep my mind on what he was saying.
“Embarrassingly, my attention suddenly wandered to a pile of guinea pig bedding which was sitting in the corner of his office, clearly intended for someone’s pet.
“I rushed over to it and kept picking it up. I felt as if I’d just discovered the Holy Grail, but the poor man clearly thought I was incredibly odd. He was obviously uncomfortable in my presence, and I was clearly unable to be professional while on the drug.”
To find out how much her concentration had been compromised, Nicky set herself the task of assembling a flat pack cabinet, first free from and then under the influence of cannabis.
Without having smoked the drug, she found the job straightforward. While stoned however, it was a different matter.
“I took only two puffs of cannabis, but was totally hopeless when it came to assembling the cabinet,” she says. I felt so spaced out that I ended up passing out on the sofa with the cabinet still in bits around me. The drug totally destroyed my ability to think.”
Over the course of the four-week investigation, this “mental oblivion”, as Nicky describes it, was to become a familiar feeling.

Clearly we need to arrest marijuana smokers. They might become… giggly.
The whole piece is such nonsense as to be not worthy of debunking… But it is so much fun to ridicule.

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