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Colorado man fails to buy cannabis

Colorado’s legal marijuana industry has been in operation for a full week now, and despite long lines, the cannabis stores have been able to serve local residents as well as tourists from around the country.

So it was with some surprise that it was discovered that Richard Silverman, a Denver resident who lives less than a block from one of the new stores, had failed to purchase any cannabis.

Authorities are baffled.

Channel 7 Action News caught up with Mr. Silverman to try to clear up this mystery.

Channel 7: We’re naturally curious as to what happened to you this week that prevented you from purchasing cannabis. Were you ill, or going through some kind of emergency?

Silverman: No, I was fine, actually. I saw the open store and could have gone, but I wasn’t interested.

Channel 7: What do you mean?

Silverman: I’m just not all that interested in cannabis. I’ve tried it, but it’s not my thing.

Channel 7: You realize that it’s legal now?

Silverman: Oh, yes. And I have no problem with others choosing to buy it. I think it’s great that it’s legal. I just didn’t want any.

Channel 7: I don’t understand.

Others find the case of Richard Silverman more than just puzzling…

Kevin Sabet, spokesperson for Smart Approaches to Marijuana (S.A.M.), an organization well-known in the media for pretending to have an alternative policy approach to marijuana, believes that “there’s something really fishy there.”

“You don’t just say ‘no’ to Big Marijuana,” said Sabet. “Silverman is clearly lying and should probably be referred for treatment.”

In related news, Colorado officials announced today that the all-out disintegration of society is unlikely to occur until after the second week of legal marijuana sales.

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42 comments to Colorado man fails to buy cannabis

  • Mrbender

    This is hilarious! Esp this part ‘ the all-out disintegration of society is unlikely to occur until after the second week of legal marijuana sales.’

    Poking fun and still get your point across, well played,

  • Tony Aroma

    Mr. Silverman is obviously NOT a teacher or airline pilot or eye surgeon or school bus driver. How do I know? Because former Drug Czar Barry McCaffrey (among others) very clearly warned us that all these professionals on whom our very lives depend will be hopped up on the marijuana reefers while on the job, as well as most of the rest of their waking hours, if/when we legalize the devil’s weed. Or, even more likely, Mr. Silverman is just high and doesn’t remember buying the drugs because of brain damage and/or laziness.

  • strayan

    I always like to ask prohibidiots why they don’t smoke tobacco. They usually say something along the lines of “I don’t want to”.

    ”But it’s legal!” I say. “How can you resist!?”

    • strayan

      I just looked up the smoking prevalence and it turns out about 90% of the people in California State manage to abstain from smoking tobacco.

      DON’T THEY REALISE IT’S LEGAL!?

  • allan

    I was disappointed when there was no headline reading “Colorado Destroyed! Sky Falls, Entire State’s Population Dead”

    Let the mockery begin!

  • Wonderfully refreshing, Pete – although I did think you may have gotten a little too close to home with Kevin’s part.

  • darkcycle

    Obviously, there’s something very fishy about Mr. “Silverman”. He seems to be exercising free will and personal agency. If this is indeed the case, I certainly hope they have referred this man to Homeland Security for investigation. He has refused to play his part as a good citizen and do as was suggested.

  • DdC

    OT? Banks Say No To Marijuana Money, Legal or Not
    By Serge F. Kovaleskijan
    CN Source: New York Times January 11, 2014

    Seattle — In his second-floor office above a hair salon in north Seattle, Ryan Kunkel is seated on a couch placing $1,000 bricks of cash — dozens of them — in a rumpled brown paper bag. When he finishes, he stashes the money in the trunk of his BMW and sets off on an adrenalized drive downtown, darting through traffic and nervously checking to see if anyone is following him. Despite the air of criminality, there is nothing illicit in what Mr. Kunkel is doing. He co-owns five legal medical marijuana dispensaries, and on this day he is heading to the Washington State Department of Revenue to commit the ultimate in law-abiding acts: paying taxes. After about 25 minutes at the agency, Mr. Kunkel emerges with a receipt for $51,321. Read More…

    Looks like its time for another Bank Transfer Day

    DEA Bans Dispensary Security and Armored Cars From Picking up Cash

    Drug War Bailing Out Banksters

    Bankster’s should be on trial…

    • Randy

      How nice of our government do-gooders to make running a business more risky than it needs to be. Just sickening. Just one more indicator of the base immorality that lies at the heart of drug prohibition and the moral cretins that support it.

  • Lese Majeste

    Silverman was buying marijuana across the border in Wyoming and selling it to Air Force personnel working in nuclear silos.

  • TrippingWithVeryLargeBombs

    “And so “the legalizers” have painted themselves into a very tight corner, by persisting in spreading the fiction that marijuana is “not as bad” as comparatively innocuous substances like alcohol and tobacco – a dishonest and easily disproven claim. Yet again, the case for legalizing marijuana goes up in smoke!”

    —Linda Taylor

  • Freeman

    Asked for comment, Washington State’s pot consultant Mork Klieman (the K is silent — both of them) said: “Mr. Silverman has obviously been purchasing his supply on the black market, taking advantage of the naturally lower price. What’s needed is stepped-up law enforcement to prevent the practice from becoming wide-spread, though in this particular case I wouldn’t say that it’s worth taking the transition cost because Mr. Silverman happens to be an affluent white guy like me.”

    • Freeman

      Ooh, I just realized that “What’s needed is stepped-up law enforcement to prevent the practice from spreading to politically weaker minorities” would have been a better turn of phrase above.

      Why, oh why do I always come up improvements after the edit timeout has expired!

  • Nunavut Tripper

    I think Mr Silverman has his own private grow going and is heating home to tend to his budding girlies.
    He admits he’s tried it so we know he’s actually an addict lying about his compulsions.
    As I understand it almost all Colorado citizens are drug addicts or will be soon.
    Maybe Project SAM would have some suggestions …possibly a friendly chat by the local SWAT social intervention team would be in order.

  • Howard

    I’ve read that SAM is considering unveiling the ‘fourth way’ approach to cannabis addiction. They’re considering mass grave exhumations across the country. If they find any corpses with THC metabolites, they’ll refer any living relations to those corpses for mandatory treatment.

    Says SAM’s Dr. Kevin Sabet, “Why should we wait until they enter the criminal justice system? Since marijuana addiction is genetically based, we can find future marijuana addicts before they’ve taken one puff. We’re being proactive by getting them into treatment before addiction has set in”.

    Various police departments are loving this idea. “We can seize property and assets based on genetic predisposition as well”, remarked one anonymous sheriff. “We’re setting up genetic pre-raids right now. We’ll relieve future addicts of their property and assets before even one joint is purchased. It’s a win-win for our department budget and public health. Thanks to SAM and their ‘fourth way’ initiative”.

  • allan

    bad couch! bad bad bad!

    My chuckling went from a low volume to some uproarious Har Har-ing. I may have woken Miss Appleseed, again. 🙁
    (an artist must not awaken his muse when she ain’t wanting to wake up!)

    Seriously. It’s been years since I’ve bought a Sunday paper and enjoyed the Sunday funnies. This was a great read, great comments and much better than any Sunday comix. Funny stuff mates! I bow to y’all… respect mon!

  • Uncle Albert's Nephew

    Clearly, Silverman is in denial about his merry wanna addiction. 😉

    • Duncan20903

      .
      .

      Well it’s about time that I kept my promise to prove once and for all that I am in fact a duck billed platypus.

      I am not a duck billed platypus.

      So there you go, proof positive!

    • Duncan20903

      .
      .

      Well color me dense. After 36 1/2 years of blithering off the wall analysis and direct observation I’ve finally figured out what motivates the prohibitionist parasites to be so enthusiastically intransigent about the continued embrace of the epic failure of public policy and horse sense of the thing which we call the war on (some) drugs. I guess that this one belongs in the “shouldn’t people who are in Africa think ‘zebras not horses’ instead of vice versa?” category:

      They knew that we were going to razz them without mercy and subject them to wholesale gratuitous ridicule if we ever got it re-legalized.

      But I’m man enough to admit it when I’m wrong. I really did believe that the prohibitionists would never, ever get anything right. My bad.

  • Duncan20903

    .
    .

    “Authorities are baffled.”

    So what else is news? The pig says oink?

  • Servetus

    More disaster looms in Colorado. In more progressive parts of the state, new rehabs are springing up that re-educate marijuana addicts to help them understand their withdrawal symptoms are a delusion and part of a nocebo effect. In-patients and out-patients are being told they can forget the whole pot addiction thing and go home. Not only are conventional rehab clinics in Colorado threatened by this new move, but it’s feared the trend will spread to outlying states.

  • N.T. Greene

    Next thing you know he won’t head to the corner store to buy twinkies!

    Worse than screwing up society, think of what his abstinence means for the economy!

    …wait what

  • War Vet

    I wonder if Mr. Silverman’s parents are tired of him living down in their basement and if they keep the basement window open for him for those times he turns into a bat. So, why do they have per se limits on driving while stoned when potheads simply fly?

    Speaking of bats, I guess the most famous pothead is Batman . . . he lives in a cave beneath his parents home, which is like a basement.

    • Duncan20903

      .
      .

      Why in the world would a company drug test potential employees to make sure that they don’t hire someone who is too lazy to work and on welfare/SSI? Why the hell are such people even filling out job applications? But the sad fact is that consistency and continuity are just not the strong suits of the prohibitionist parasites and their sycophants.

      • War Vet

        As these prohibitionist further wake up to the truth about drug use and our society and especially about pot and its lack of ‘harm’, they’ll be further living in a never ending segment known as the “Twilight Zone”. For the safety of others, well be forced to enter their homes and place them in mental institutes. A person who grapples with the ‘Twilight Zone’s’ theme song every second of their life is bound to be dangerous.

        We as a society would be safer if these drug testing companies went to Fallujah to drug test all the Al Qaeda operatives who now own that city. If they fail a drug test, then said operative cannot own or use a weapon, let alone serve their cause. It’s bound to either
        A) get all the lazy and doped up Al Qaeda members away from their ranks, or B) eliminate a bunch of drug testing workers. It’s a win win . . . Hashassins are high-ly motivated, just like the drug test workers.

  • DdC

    This is the Brain of Incremental Retardation…

    It doesn’t have a high potential for abuse, and there are very legitimate medical applications. In fact, sometimes marijuana is the only thing that works.

    On August 14, 1970, the Assistant Secretary of Health, Dr. Roger O. Egeberg wrote a letter recommending the plant, marijuana, be classified as a schedule 1 substance, and it has remained that way for nearly 45 years. My research started with a careful reading of that decades old letter. What I found was unsettling. Egeberg had carefully chosen his words:

    Since there is still a considerable void in our knowledge of the plant and effects of the active drug contained in it, our recommendation is that marijuana be retained within schedule 1 at least until the completion of certain studies now underway to resolve the issue.”

    Not because of sound science, but because of its absence, marijuana was classified as a schedule 1 substance. Again, the year was 1970. Egeberg mentions studies that are underway, but many were never completed. As my investigation continued, however, I realized Egeberg did in fact have important research already available to him, some of it from more than 25 years earlier.

    The Politics of Pot

    Possibly the most-studied substance on the planet

  • claygooding

    For marijuana, prohibition is the experiment that fail

    http://tinyurl.com/mty52wp

    TOM KEANE is right that Colorado’s legal marijuana market may become a model for Massachusetts, but he misses one key point (“An experimental state,” Op-ed, Jan. 7). Prohibition, not legalization, has been the experiment.

    Leaving the production and distribution of marijuana to criminals has had the same consequences as our experiment with alcohol prohibition: a violent market, widespread use of an unregulated product, and biased enforcement largely targeted at the disadvantaged.

    It’s time to end this experiment, just as we did 80 years ago. “end”

    We post s lot of the prohib’s stuff here but has anyone else noticed we are having to sort them now from the positive articles,,,a lot more of these are beginning to show up.

  • Duncan20903

    .
    .

    Well here’s the first report of cannabis addled driving out of Colorado that I’ve seen for 2014. I’ve been chomping at the bit to ask, where are all the DUIs? Where is the carnage and mayhem on the roads? Well I guess I’m glad that I didn’t jump the gun, this one is a doozy:

    Colorado State Patrol says stoned driver crashed into 2 Patrol vehicles

    Some people might point out that in 2011 Colorado police made 27,314 (What the…? twenty seven thousand??) arrests for drunken driving. If the first 12 days of January saw drunken driving arrests at exactly the same rate that would be 898 cases of drunken driving in 2014 for Colorado. Of course the number of arrests isn’t going to be exactly the per diem average. I’d just plain guess that when there’s 2 feet of snow on the ground that people would be less likely to be arrested for drunken driving. Hey, it’s cold as hell out there, do we really think the cops want to stand on the side of the road listening to a drunk screw up the alphabet? How do you make someone walk a straight line when there’s no road paint visible? Regardless, that last claim is pretty much baseless speculation except for the part that arrests aren’t evenly spaced.

    • War Vet

      Are you sure it was because they were high or was it revenge for the past?

      • Duncan20903

        .
        .

        I thought that the point was that at this time it just isn’t possible for someone to get arrested for cannabis addled driving in Colorado without a news story saying “see, we told you so! Nanny nanny boo boo!” I’m willing to bet a not insignificant wad of cash that there’s been only a single arrest for cannabis addled driving in Colorado this year.

        Well, either that or “how the frack could you make the DUI problem in Colorado any worse? Twenty seven friggin’ thousand DUIs in a State with a population of ~5 million (not counting our unregistered guests.?”

  • undrgrndgirl

    lol. thanks for the laugh.