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Friday funnies

Brought to you by Cliff Kincaide, with guest stars Calvina L. Fay, and Dr. Paul R. Chabot, complete with anti-Soros messages and calls for tougher laws against cannabis.

Narco-Nation Comes to Colorado

Notice the lack of quotes from Kevin Sabet. These people are so rabid, they think Kevin is pro-marijuana.

The article is in the “Canada Free Press: …Because without America there is no Free World”

They have an odd notion of the meaning of the word “free.”

[Thanks, John!]

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46 comments to Friday funnies

  • crut

    “We hope this matter becomes the central point for the [next] presidential campaign.” — Paul Chabot

    So do we Paul, so do we.

  • Duncan20903

    .
    .

    So who says religionists don’t have a sense of humor? OK, I did say that but I thought that decades and decades without seeing an example was adequate supporting evidence that the assertion was true. Gosh I hate black swans.

    There’s no reason to click the link unless you think that I might have made this up:

    Marijuana in the Firewood

    ‘Hello, is this the Sheriff’s Office?’

    ‘Yes, what can I do for you?’

    ‘I’m calling to report ’bout my neighbor Virgil Smith….He’s hidin’ marijuana inside his firewood! Don’t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he’s hidin’ it there.’

    ‘Thank you very much for the call, sir.’

    The next day, the Sheriff’s Deputies descend on Virgil’s house. They search the shed where the firewood
    is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave. Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil’s house.

    ‘Hey, Virgil! This here’s Floyd….Did the Sheriff come?’
    ‘Yeah!’

    ‘Did they chop your firewood?’

    ‘Yep!’

    ‘Happy Birthday, buddy!’

    (Rednecks know how to git-R-dun).

    BTW is that Cliff Kincaide guy in the diatribe linked above the same idiot mailman who frequents Sam Malone’s bar, whatsitcalled, Cheers?

  • Howard

    Hair on fire alert. It’s literally raining HELL;

    “…every third storefront in the tourist district turning into a head shop.”

    “…former Marxist-Leninist guerrilla…”.

    “…societal disapproval…”.

    “…tough laws that are consistently enforced..”.

    “…implement interventions on drug users.”

    “…battling drug legalization on a daily basis.”

    • Duncan20903

      .
      .

      …and yet people say it’s us who are out of touch with reality.

      I know! Let’s start a non-profit foundation to help facilitate the emigration of prohibitionist parasites and their sycophants to countries with public policies of which they approve. We’ll call it “The Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out Foundation.”

      • Howard

        I’m ready to donate to their extradition and I’ve got just the place to send them to. It’s called the ‘Pole of Inaccessibility’ (I kid you not). Perfect spot for the loyal opposition;

        http://tinyurl.com/k9rj78a

      • Randy

        “Don’t let the door hit ya were evolution split ya.”

        I just recently heard this phrase on a podcast and I thought I’d die laughing.

    • Hope

      “Battling drug legalization on a daily basis.” What happened to when they were just “Battling drugs”? Calvina said it, “Battling drug legalization”. This makes me think of that old saying, “First they laugh at you. Then they fight you.” How’s the rest of that go?

      But I do read something not so funny and we’d best pay attention to it. That rousting the parents business. They threw up major roadblocks in the seventies by going after mothers and making them fearful and that mailing that ounce of oregano or parsley to all the legislators, so they could see just what a walloping package they thought an ounce was, which was the amount they expected would be legalized. Calvina and some other “Sembler funded prohibition organizations” were behind that. It was quite successful. I think we are prepared for that though. How many times did that article say “Soros funded”? I’m going to start talking about Sembler funded and tax money funded prohibitionists.

      • primus

        First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win. Ghandi.

      • War Vet

        In regards to the Mommies:

        As the years go by, memories of the truth fade away. Many –many mommies were once sending their little ones to elementary school and arranging play dates for their little boys and girls 12 and less years ago. Yesterday and today, these same mommies are watching their children go to far off lands called war zones. The push towards pot legalization is just one theatre in the War on Drugs (and maybe the largest beachhead of our day) . . . the War on Drugs has been proven by multiple agencies, militaries, universities, politicians and media groups from around the world as the leading supplier/facilitator of terrorist funding. Instead of showing an OZ of oregano, we need to show the mommies pictures of the World Trade Center . . . dog-tags that no longer go around necks, guns, pictures of the 2008 economic collapse, bullets, TSA agents, blood stained boots etc. Remind the mommies that the backlash of defeating pot (drug) legalization is and has been 9/11, U.S.S. Cole, Benghazi, African Embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania, 1983 U.S. Barracks bombings in Beirut, violence in Mexico, The War in Afghanistan and the bandwagon to Iraq.

  • Duncan20903

    .
    .

    Wow, apparently medicinal cannabis is extremely effective in helping children with Dravets Syndrome. Why do I say that? How long have I been waiting for GW Pharma to get FDA approval of Sativex and now they get it for a medicine that I’ve never heard of? Wow, talk about a stunning turn of events:

    GW Pharmaceuticals Provides Update on Orphan Program in Childhood Epilepsy for Epidiolex®
    Orphan Drug Designation Granted for Epidiolex in Dravet syndrome by the FDA – – Seven Expanded Access INDs granted by FDA to U.S. physicians to treat with Epidiolex 125 children suffering from intractable epilepsy syndromes

    LONDON, Nov. 15, 2013 /PRNewswire/ — GW Pharmaceuticals plc (AIM: GWP, Nasdaq: GWPH, “GW”) announced today that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has granted orphan drug designation for Epidiolex®, our product candidate that contains plant-derived Cannabidiol (CBD) as its active ingredient, for use in treating children with Dravet syndrome, a rare and severe form of infantile-onset, genetic, drug-resistant epilepsy syndrome. Epidiolex is an oral liquid formulation of a highly purified extract of CBD, a non-psychoactive molecule from the cannabis plant. Following receipt of this orphan designation, GW anticipates holding a pre-IND meeting with the FDA in the near future to discuss a development plan for Epidiolex in Dravet syndrome.
    /snip/

    FDA approval for an organic cannabinoid medicine…well at least it explains the recent volume and price tripling for GWPH. Insider trading, who’da thunk it could happen? The GWP earnings report will be on Monday after the bell (LSE) if anyone else cares.

    • allan

      thanks Duncan!

      Ooops! there goes the no-FDA-approved-cannabis-medicines prohibitionist talking point.

      Thud!

      • Howard

        Yeah, but not so fast. Do you think this legitimizes the Stanley brothers’ Charlotte’s Web cannabis strain that helped Charlotte Figi mitigate her troubles with Dravet’s Syndrome? I say, “Not by a mile”. GWP, being a pharmaceutical company, is going the route the FDA approves of. The Stanley brothers are marijuana growers — the FDA explicitly does not endorse their ‘crude’ plant material. Even though their product likely results in the same outcome as GWP’s (gee, I wonder where GWP got their idea for Epidiolex, any guesses?).

        The medical marijuana debate rekindles an age old battle between the allopaths and the naturopaths/homeopaths, largely already won by the allopaths. Here’s a video describing some of this battle and how and why it was won by the allopaths. (Note: this video needed some editing and rambles off on occasion. It could have been more concise. Still, there are pockets of information worth learning about);

        http://tinyurl.com/ldomc7y

        And this route GWP/the FDA is taking is very much endorsed by our good friend Kevin Sabet. Quoting from claygooding’s post, Kevin says, “We urge research into the non-smoked components of marijuana so it’s available at a pharmacy.” What GWP is attempting to do falls in line with Kevin’s wishes (begrudgingly of course).

        In a nutshell Kevin Sabet is an allopath. Anyone else who wants access to whole plant medical cannabis OUTSIDE a pharmacy is a naturopath/homeppath. That should set the tone right there.

        • allan

          well I certainly can’t disagree with all that Howard.

          But this “orphaned drug” story (even being a PR) does most certainly decapitate the no-FDA point they flaunt so obnoxiously often.

          As to allopathic v naturopathic… humans are such pig-headed egotistical shits that we’re notorious galaxy-wide for our heads-up-our-assedness intellectual approach to so many issues.

          Nutrition, exercise, stress-removal… all go a long ways towards personal health betterment. Herbs are nature’s pharmacopeia and wise folks don’t discount them.

          I do find it rather (sadly) amusing that the allopaths ride so high on their horses when it was only 150 years ago or so they figured out the need for such basics as cleanliness in surgery. That hand-washing came so late to the Europenes is an indication of immature development.

          Modern medicine’s pomposity and posturing have little to do with the truth.

          Myself and many others here have oft stated over the years that gardening shouldn’t be a criminalized activity and that poppies, coca, ganja, sillycibes, peyote, et al, should all be legal for home cultivation.

          Heal thyself and all that.

        • Howard

          “But this “orphaned drug” story (even being a PR) does most certainly decapitate the no-FDA point they flaunt so obnoxiously often.”

          Allan, I agree wholeheartedly. The question now becomes: How is the FDA going to spin this? How are they going to defend anointing GWP’s plant extract as legit medication while casting a low glare at the Stanley brother’s …umm… Charolette’s Web plant extract?

          Of course, they’ll likely feel no need to respond at all or just defend the pharmaceutical company’s rigorous following of FDA approved specific protocols, blah, blah, blah.

          Wait, didn’t Vioxx also pass FDA protocols? Yeah, great outcome for that drug…

        • you can’t *measure* or control smoked doses — that’s how gw pharma wins the “medical” game

        • Duncan20903

          .
          .

          (Fair warning, ranting diatribe follows)
          Howard, no, Vioxx never had the FDA required research done before approval. The company dummied up the research. It was just plain criminal fraud. If this were an episode of “Law & Order” Jack McCoy would have prosecuted the company for thousands of counts of Murder 2 — depraved indifference to human life. Of course in the real world the company just pays an ungodly fine that’s still less than their gross profits, and keeps on selling drugs with the blessing of the powers that be.

          Supreme Court rules Vioxx fraud suit may proceed

          /snip/
          Justice Stephen Breyer wrote:

          Construing this limitations statute for the first time, we hold that a cause of action accrues (1) when the plaintiff did in fact discover, or (2) when a reasonably diligent plaintiff would have discovered, “the facts constituting the violation” – whichever comes first. We also hold that the “facts constituting the violation” include the fact of scienter, “a mental state embracing intent to deceive, manipulate, or defraud,

          Justice John Paul Stevens filed a concurring opinion. Justice Antonin Scalia filed a separate concurring opinion, joined by Justice Clarence Thomas.

          A lot of people think that the FDA does the research but it isn’t true. The FDA reviews research which is sponsored or done by the company seeking approval. This is the part that makes people’s claim that cannabis hasn’t received FDA approval a bad joke. Given the legal environment it really isn’t reasonable to think that there might be a “legitimate” pharma that’s going to lay out 7 or 8 figures to do the required research just in the hope that our intransigent Federal government might decide to be reasonable. But I know that Epidiolex® is actually going to have the required testing done because that’s a big part of the Orphan Drug Act.

          **********

          The FDA’s action says to me that the powers that be are significantly worried that the children with Dravets screwing up their propaganda. Cash Hyde had a very rare disease. While Dravets isn’t common we’ve certainly seen a lot of examples of children suffering that condition while the Cash Hyde case never brought out any other children who shared his diagnosis. When Cash passed away so did his effect on the perception of cannabinoid medicine. IIRC his parents were friends of cannabis. Not that it should make any difference, but it does.

          Just to make sure that you understand my point of view Howard, I don’t see whole plant cannabinoid medicine ever being part of mainstream human medicine. I see it as a stop gap measure that had to be adopted because the assholes in charge are more worried about the politics of cannabinoid medicine screwing up their precious prohibition than about the suffering of the sick. A couple of decades from now cannabinoid medicine will be produced by the pharmas and look very much like every other medicine produced by the pharmas. It is the way of the world and I don’t think it worth my while to waste my time trying to change the ways of the world. I’d love to do it but I don’t even have a clue where I’d start. So I’ll leave it up to you and wish you luck. You’re going to need it. (tip of the pin to “10 Years After“)

          If we talk about messages sent to young children one of the messages that my parents sent to me was that the suffering of the sick is something that takes priority over just about any other consideration. It subordinates and makes irrelevant any other petty bullcrap like preserving the stupidity of the absolute prohibition of cannabis.

          When it comes to cannabinoid medicine I don’t care how it is produced or who produces it as long as it is produced. I really don’t care how it’s delivered as long as it is delivered. All that I care about is that the sick get their medicine and that they suffer no more than is humanly possible to prevent. I’ll stipulate that I just don’t share the hatred of the pharmas and that’s because I believe that I’d have never have existed except for some “greedy” businesses who invented penicillin in order to make money. My mother was told she needed a therapeutic abortion and a radical hysterectomy when she was carrying my older sister. Being a catholic she refused and decided to try the new, experimental drug. Given that history its just not bloody likely that I’ll ever share other peoples’ perception of the “greedy” pharmas. god bless ’em and I hope they make a mint and GW Pharma in particular.

          My point of view isn’t shared by others on this couch. We’ve basically agreed to disagree. But I’m used to being in the minority in the minority, but I learned a long time ago that if the question is “who am I going to believe, what someone else insists is true or my own two eyes” my answer is always going to be my eyes. Perhaps you’ll find it amusing that the event that cemented that rule for me was the announcement that medical science had discovered the endo-cannabinoid system in the early 1990s. I can’t tell you how many people just laughed at me between 1977 and 1992 when I mention that exogenous cannabinoids closed a circuit in my brain. No, they didn’t stop in 1992 but I knew then that they were just talking out of their collective ass and telling me that what I could plainly see wasn’t true.

        • darkcycle

          Well, Duncan…I fully understand your perspective, but will rush to point out that the Penicillin that saved your mother’s pregnancy did NOT go through anything at all like the current FDA approval process. No double blind studies, nothing. Yep, it may have been a Big Pharma product, but it was made when a good drug could be placed on the market because it worked. Not because you had the money to buy the research to get the FDA to approve it.

        • Duncan20903

          .
          .

          Where the heck did I say that I liked the FDA approval process? If you like I could share my feelings on that assertion. This is probably the only comments column in existence where that particular diatribe wouldn’t be deleted by the censors. I’d start with the utterly stupid reaction to birth defects caused by Thalidomide which resulted in adoption of a “safety testing” scheme in which pregnant women aren’t allowed to participate. But that’s our government for you…testing the safety of digging a hole but allowing no shovels to be part of the test.

          I’ll be standing by ready to cheer when you get that part changed but expect that your attempts will be a waste of your time. But what do I know? Go for it!

        • darkcycle

          Jus’ pointing it out. I nowhere suggested that I believed you LIKE it. I’m also pretty sure the process is broke beyond fixing, and I like to look for softer walls on which to bang my head.

    • Tony Aroma

      How can the FDA approve a schedule 1 controlled substance? By definition, anything that comes from the cannabis plant has no medical use. Marinol is one thing, it’s synthetic. But I don’t see how the feds can allow this without either rescheduling cannabis, or setting themselves up for more lawsuits, not to mention being even MORE hypocritical.

      • Howard

        On a similar note, I have searched high and low for an official government explanation as to how marijuana can be in Schedule I and the existence of US Patent 6,630,507 ‘Cannabinoids as Antioxidants and Neuroprotectants’. If cannabinoids are why marijuana is scheduled as such, how can the US hold a patent based on the medical worthiness of those very same cannabinoids? I still haven’t found any reference that explains this dichotomy. Maybe I’ve missed it somewhere.

      • Matthew Meyer

        “Specifically, the DEA’s intent is to expand the federal government’s schedule III listing to include pharmaceutical products containing naturally derived formations of THC while simultaneously maintain existing criminal prohibitions on the plant itself. “The DEA has received four petitions from companies that have products that are currently the subject of ANDAs (abbreviated new drug applications) under review by the FDA,” its post reads. “While the petitioners cite that their generic products are bioequivalent to Marinol, their products do not meet schedule III current definition provided above. Therefore, these firms have requested that 21 CFR 1308.13(g)(1) be expanded to include naturally derived or synthetically produced dronabinol.””
        http://tinyurl.com/kss3dy7

      • DdC

        It doesn’t take special powers to be a psychic predicting the drug worriers…

        “Marihuana” is a very dangerous drug and even small amounts can cause hysteria, bed wetting and strokes among members of drug free America cults. If legalized their heads could potentially explode.

        Is The DEA Legalizing THC?
        So, in other words, if a pharmaceutical product contains THC extracted from the marijuana plant, that would be a legal commodity. But if you or I possessed THC extracted from the marijuana plant, that would remain an illegal commodity.

        Wait, it gets even more absurd.

        Since the cannabis plant itself will remain illegal under federal law, then from whom precisely could Big Pharma legally obtain their soon-to-be legal THC extracts? There’s only one answer: The federal government’s lone legally licensed marijuana cultivator, The University of Mississippi at Oxford, which already has the licensing agreements with the pharmaceutical industry in hand.

        NeoConflicts of Interest
        Bush Barthwell & Drugs
        MJ Research Cut as Support Grows

    • DdC

      We’ve come a long way in a reasonably short time…
      If you don’t consider the time wasted before. Amazing.

      Weed Maps
      Delivery to all of Cali!

      Oral Spray Tincture-High CBD 16 to 1 CBD/THC or 1 to 1 Lab verified

      #150.00/ Rimidya – HIGH CBD, LOW THC – Whole Flower Extract Rimidya tinctures are produced from HIGH CBD whole flower extracts. Extracted using organic alcohol, this oil is then thoroughly emulsified, using proprietary methods, into a base consisting of a blend of oils designed specifically to insure that the cannabis oil remains thoroughly mixed in suspension. All of Rimidya’s products will soon carry a WercCert Certification from WercShop Laboratory a leading name in cannabis testing. This whole flower extract is contained in a spray bottle which can be used orally with 1/2 – 1 spray for each dose. A dose acts as a general analgesia for pains, seizures, and anxiety. This is a good alternative to those looking for the pain relief and medicinal benefits of cannabis without the “HIGH” or “Euphoric” feeling. It is also a good alternative to smoking or vaporizing. The oral spray doses have an immediate effect within about 15 minutes of usage. The final effect is a feeling of balance and homeostasis. Derived from AC/DC and Omrita strains. Ratios: 1 to 1 CBD / THC or 16 to 1 CBD / THC.

      FDA Approves Investigational Trials Assessing Cannabidiol For Pediatric Epilepsy

      Dr.Sanjay Gupta’s CNN special “Weed” youtube

      Sanjay Gupta

  • claygooding

    Marijuana middle ground proposed at Des Moines event

    http://tinyurl.com/k49yuhj

    “”The third way, Sabet said, is treatment for people using marijuana, and on the medical side, “we urge research into the non-smoked components of marijuana so it’s available at a pharmacy.””

    The pharmaceutical companies have been trying to copy different chemicals in the cannabis plant for decades and the best they have come up with are piss poor and not as safe as the plant.

    And of course we know why Kev wants tax payers to foot the bill of getting his profession customers.

    • kaptinemo

      “And of course we know why Kev wants tax payers to foot the bill of getting his profession customers.”

      And here’s the rub: the former victims of DARE and other such propaganda efforts know they were lied to using their parent’s – and now, their – taxpayer dollars.

      How long before they realize the surest way to kill this monster is to starve it? And the fastest way to do that is to vote for pols who have read the shifting of the political winds and realized reform is the only way to go in order to court the votes they need. Pols who will promise to re-allocate those taxpayer dollars away from this con-game/boondoggle of a DrugWar to things like fixing our execrable education system and crumbling infrastructure, to mention only two of a myriad of issues that have been hanging fire for years.

      That translates into pols eventually cutting the budgets of Federal and State prohibition enforcement agencies…or face defeat at the hands of a challenger who will. A challenger that, more and more likely, will be of the very generation that knows it was lied to…and knows who did the lying.

      In short, the prohibs made the mistake of making this personal. An insult given to an entire generation…who are now in a position to reciprocate. As my old VN War surviving instructors pounded into me, time and again, that “What comes around, goes around”, the prohibs are only just now beginning to realize that what they put out, they shall, in turn, receive…in spades. For it’s the DARE Generation’s ‘turn’ now. WA and CO was a taste of their rising political and social power…and a testimony as to how serious they are.

      Hence the loosing of the loons. Desperation tactics, the actions of fanatics on the wrong side of History. They’d be pitiable, save for all the death and misery they caused.

      • Duncan20903

        .
        .

        I have significant empathy for the prohibitionists, both parasites and sycophant. In the last year or so their entire lives have ha the carpet pulled out from under them. This has them totally confused. Are you aware that ants are blind, and only know how to get home by following the ant in front of it? Put out a saucer of something sweet and after the ants find it move it perhaps 100 feet and those ants will never find their way home.

        I’m not sure that most of the people on our side of the table truly understand how difficult that life can be for the poor souls who don’t have the benefit of a working brain.

        Here’s a video of the “Ant Spiral of Death” which finds ants mindlessly following the ant in front of it but they’re just walking in spirals. Without intervention they will continue to do that until they starve to death. I think it might be possible that the prohibitionist knuckleheads are in their very own spiral of death. Shh, let’s just wait and see. Our problem just might resolve itself in a stroke of cosmic justice.

  • kaptinemo

    ROFLMFAO! I said their raving crazies would come of out the woodwork when the opposition started losing! And here they are, with their manic message, short of actual foaming and gibberish – but don’t worry, it’s coming, I promise! LOL!

    (Humming to self) “Not all the nuts are in the trees, not all the loons are in the lake…”

  • allan

    I’ve often felt like my world kind of mirrored the utter sanity in the great French film, King of Hearts, with Alan Bates. Working in drug policy reform definitely fits the King of Hearts theme.

    I give this movie an enthusiastic 3 thumbs up and recommend it to anyone that feels like their asylum is the sanest place around.

  • Servetus

    And don’t forget:

    “Donate generously to groups that are battling drug legalization on a daily basis. This is an important battle, but it takes money to sustain it and we need more donors.”–Kincaide

    Maybe I need some donors as well. Where’s my money from George Soros? I’m not getting paid anything for this.

    Job obsolescence for prohibitionists was unheard of just a few years ago. Career collapse can happen to practically anyone, but it’s obvious the pure society and temperance brigade never thought it would happen to them. Adaptation is the answer. Here are three recommendations for new careers in show biz for Calvina Fay, Chabot, and Kincaide, suitable for a future, post-drug-war era:

    Calvina and the Calvinist Crusaders

    This is a survival show where Calvina Fay switches from her usual sadomoralism to sadomasochism. The show’s weekly SM guests are subjected to anal and vaginal probes using instruments kept cold in a freezer. Overexposures to X-rays, serial enemas, forced interrogations using waterboarding, and later, extended sensory deprivation leading to hallucinations is added, until the guest contestant divulges the secret location of a prize money stash. Contestants are paid part or all of the money stash based on how long they last under various types of torture.

    Chabot’s Wild Prohibition Show

    This is a traveling circus act based on the old Wild West shows that starred performers like Annie Oakley and Wyatt Earp. In this variation, Chabot and Co. re-enact the bad old days of shoot-outs, narco-battles and SWAT raids on citizen’s homes. Acts feature beatings and shootings of black and Latino children, and people’s dogs. The dogs are trained to play dead on voice command, of course. In a civilized, post-drug-war world, pets need no longer fear police officers, whose duties include protecting them as well as humans.

    Kincaide’s American Armored Vehicle Demolition Derby

    Wondering what to do with all that military armament donated to the police precincts throughout the country? Looking for a way to pay for that warehouse space? Well look no further than Kincaide’s demolition derby for armored vehicles. This is a staged, local attraction, in which each community pits its own armored vehicles against another community’s armored vehicles, gladiator style in an arena. Admission is charged, and wagering on winners is allowed.

    That’s the great thing about America. Opportunities abound, even for the losers who signed onto promoting and enforcing drug prohibition.

    • curmudgeon

      And of course Kevie is in the running to play the scarecrow in a remake of the Wizard of Oz. He obviously has his head stuffed with straw, although how he managed that without removing his cranium from his rectum is beyond my understanding.l

      • Duncan20903

        I don’t know if Jackson Brown would like that. Don’t you think that Kev-Kev is better suited to be cast as Toto? I guess that’s pretty close to being a toss up.

        linky
        /snip/
        (Well, what would you do Scarecrow?”)

        I would while away the hours
        Conferin’ with the flowers
        Consultin’ with the rain
        And my head I’d be scratchin’
        While my thoughts were busy hatchin’
        If I only had a brain.

        I’d unravel every riddle,
        For every individle,
        In trouble or in pain.
        With the thoughts I’d be thinkin’,
        I could be another Lincoln,
        If I only had a brain.

        Oh I- could tell you why,
        The ocean’s near the shore.
        I could think of things I never thought before,
        Then I’d sit- and think some more.

        I would not be just a nothin’,
        my head all full of stuffin’,
        My heart all full of pain.
        I would dance and by merry,
        Life would be a dingle derry,
        If I only had a brain.

        If I only had a brain-
        (If he only had a brain.)
        /snip/

  • primus

    He is suffering from encephalocolonitis.

  • Nunavut Tripper

    The Dung Worriers found a big grow in a seniors home on the east coast.

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/marijuana-grow-op-found-in-special-care-home-for-seniors-1.2428045?cmp=rss

    Wonder how the authorities will handle that ?

    You just can’t trust anyone over seventy five.

  • thelbert

    here’s some news from the Nose:http://tinyurl.com/n7njwdf

  • DdC

    My puter is programmed to self destruct if I get close to a drug worriers viper pit. Like going to court houses for the hell of it. The evil of the justice system is trapped inside of the marble walls and can be contagious. Makes you feel all sad and dirty. Besides I doubt if they are spewing any new mouthfarts. Same ole script and then show a close up of calvina’s face still dripping in lip stick, sweat and pizza sauce. Hey kids, this could be you if you don’t poke smot. Are they all DARE summa cum laude graduates?

    What’s my line: with Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf, Tom Poston and Bill Cullen…
    Tonight’s Mystery Guest…
    I lie for a living paid by tax dollars. I can break in your house and steal everything, including the house. I can put people in cages by lying in court, and no one will say a word cause its fer the kids. I can steal your piss, shoot down your plane killing mother and child. Or shoot your mother as she held you in her arms as a little baby. Kid looked like a gun. Cage your father for 93 years growing home grown war wound medicine. Then shoot your granny sleeping in bed. With 39 bullets, mistaken address, 6 or so landing on target. Shoot peaceful rainbow farmers 8 times in the head, 100 to 1 odds, sheriff needed a retirement spread. Denying a man the only thing preventing death from asphyxiation. Take your driving privilege, school tuition, pell grants, car and children. Search your school, your car, blood, hair and anal cavity. Eavesdrop on your conversations, emails, bank and texts. Then sell you drugs. Or buy drugs from you or give you drugs to sell as a plea bargain choice between jail and dying by snitching, all legal as hell. Run the only US schwag farm in the state of Mississippi. Rolling joints in tax paid machines shipped out to patients while 800,000 get arrested for rolling their own. What am I?

    The devil… Mafia? owwwwe. Nazi? Spider, disease, alien, raccoon, pack rat or snake? Pestilent, vermin… disease carrying vermin? Bacteria or virus? Ameba? This isn’t right. This is a machine or a computer robot? Robocop? Poison Oak? War? Evil? Walking D.E.A.th?

    How Much of Your Money is Wasted in the War on Drugs
    Enforcing the drug control system costs at least $100 billion a year.

    58% of Americans favor legalizing marijuana
    ☛48 Percent Of Americans Believe In UFOs

    ☛40 Percent Of Americans Still Believe In Creationism 2011
    ☛46% Americans Believe In Creationism 2012

    ☛4 Percent of Americans Think the US Is Winning the War on Drugs
    ☛82 Percent of Americans Think the US Is Losing the War on Drugs

    WoDcLoCk

    ☛Arrests for drug law violations this year are expected to exceed the 1,663,582 arrests of 2009. Law enforcement made more arrests for drug abuse violations (an estimated 1.6 million arrests, or 13.0 percent of the total number of arrests) than for any other offense in 2009.
    ☛Someone is arrested for violating a drug law every 19 seconds.
    ☛$6.9 billion for the Bureau of Prisons
    ☛The U.S. federal government spent over $15 billion dollars in 2010 on the War on Drugs, at a rate of about $500 per second.
    ☛Obama administration in its 2013 budget still requested $25.6 billion in federal spending on the drug war.
    ☛Police arrested an estimated 858,408 persons for cannabis violations in 2009. Of those charged with cannabis violations, approximately 89 percent were charged with possession only.
    ☛An American is arrested for violating cannabis laws every 30 seconds.
    ☛Since December 31, 1995, the U.S. prison population has grown an average of 43,266 inmates per year. About 25 per cent are sentenced for drug law violations.

    On September 6, 1988, the Drug Enforcement Administration’s Chief Administrative Law Judge, Francis L. Young, ruled: “Marijuana, in its natural form, is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known….[T]he provisions of the [Controlled Substances] Act permit and require the transfer of marijuana from Schedule I to Schedule II. It would be unreasonable, arbitrary and capricious for the DEA to continue to stand between those sufferers and the benefits of this substance.”

  • jean valjean

    bingo! (for calvina and co) renisha mcbride tests positive for mj after “acting crazy” and getting shot in the face. expect a witch hunt about her character a la trayvon

    • B. Snow

      Well, She also had a blood alcohol level of .22 (*IIRC?, it was 0.2_-something…)
      But according to the news the other day – they didn’t test the shooter at all, AND he “accidentally” shot his shotgun thru a screen-door, after opening his main front-door.

      To see a reportedly somewhat-bloody, (just-in-a-car-accident) black woman, and the old white guy (iirc) was *apparently* in fear of his life? OR maybe, grievous bodily injury… (or so he allegedly claimed after the fact)

      So, he “accidentally” blew her head off, Like she was a freakin fleshing-eating zombie or something – coming at him asking for help *OR* “Brains…” depending on whose side of the story you choose to believe? (I don’t know that her head was -completely severed from her body- but you get the point.)

      Anyone who asks about any MJ level in her blood is focusing on the wrong person to start with , So they’ll hopefully ignore any of the *Calvina’s* asking such garbage/unrelated questions.

      • jean valjean

        its the drug war encapsulated. dead black person? test for mj. white male shooter? well it could have been any of us. quite understandable: pass

        • B. Snow

          “Theodore Wafer will be prosecuted for the death of McBride.”

          Well, it seems that the Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy, is looking to make an example of him – rightly so – and (IMO) – It’s just Beyond Ironic that his last name is basically synonymous with ‘Cracker’.

          Although they claim it has nothing to do with race…

          Worthy said the shooting was unjustified: “We don’t believe he acted in lawful self defense.”

          She downplayed the racial element as did the McBride family attorney…