The drug war is so… dignified

Drug cops log Nigerian star’s 24 bowel movements: Law made to look an ass

Nigerian authorities have been forced to release an actor they suspected of drug smuggling after he produced no less than 24 narco-free bowel movements.

Babatunde Omidina, better known in Nollywood circles as Baba Suwe, was nabbed at Lagos airport last month by officers from Nigeria’s National Drug Law Enforcement Agency.

Officers pulled in the comedian, who was en route to Paris, on suspicion of drug trafficking after a body scan suggested he had ingested a quantity of contraband.

The drugs authorities decided to let the law, and nature, take its course, spending the next three weeks minutely examining Omidina’s bowel movements for evidence of the contraband. […]

In a final effort to unearth the alleged contraband, Omadina was last week subjected to 12 hours of “tests” at a Lagos hospital, apparently without his consent.

“All his systems were flushed, other than his lungs and intestines, but nothing was found,” his lawyer told a court hearing last week

So determined that they were right that they would subject a human being to that. The drug war acts, at times, like a mental illness.

Meanwhile, the actor’s lawyers said they plan to sue the agency for “billions” of naira.

I have no idea what “naira” are, but I hope they get many billions.

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33 Responses to The drug war is so… dignified

  1. claygooding says:

    Wouldn’t an x-ray detect the packages of drugs in your body? Maybe they could stick some up Kerli’s ass and check.

  2. Francis says:

    The drug warriors’ obsession with other people’s urine is well known, so I can’t say that I find this story very surprising. Disgusting and disturbing? Yes. But surprising? Unfortunately not.

  3. Mr.Wiggles says:

    well that just sounds super yummy in my much you wanna bet this to happen in the USA and then SPCOUSA justifys it.
    yummy narco justice,mmmmm fuck your rights..

    • darkcycle says:

      Sorry, Wiggles and everybody…they do it right NOW. If they suspect you are smuggling drugs that way they will put you in a toiletless cell with a bedpan until you “produce”. They won’t make you produce 24 of ’em, but you’ll sit there until you dump.

      • Francis says:

        Good point, darkcycle. The drug warriors’ coprophilia is also well-established. (And just for the record, I had to look that word up–although I immediately regretted it.)

        • darkcycle says:

          Then I would avoid the definition of “coprophagy” at all costs. Sadly it’s a symptom we see in clinical work sometimes….

        • Francis says:

          Thanks a lot darkcyle. Well, at least I now have a word to describe anyone who still eats up the drug warriors’ propaganda.

      • kaptinemo says:

        And they’ll happily supply the laxative…in industrial doses. To say they’re sick people is to engage in English-style understatement.

  4. Maria says:

    Dude’s a comedian? I think he has enough material to enrich his act well into the next decade.

    And since a billion Niara is around 6 million dollars that comes out to at LEAST 250000 a bowel movement. Which is to say, a hell of a lot more then your average poor sod doing drug mule work would be carrying around in slowly disintegrating condoms.

  5. claygooding says:

    A funny thing happened to me at the airport doesn’t seem to fit this.

    (and the first one to say “no shit” wins the prize.)

  6. Ben says:

    God damn, the things we do to one another…

  7. BMB says:

    I’m not aware of any “scanner” that detects anything other than loads of taxpayer money. What kind of “body scan” did this guy get at the airport?

  8. Billy Budd says:

    I am no doctor but it seems to me that if you swallow something undigestible, it is going to come out a lot sooner than 3 weeks and 24 movements…talk about make work, although I think I’d rather be out hunting and gathering…

  9. vickyvampire says:

    Gross has usual like pro-exhibitionists are.
    Look I know Alex Jones get a bit out there some times but I think the government would love to have everyone in America wear one of these to track everything we consume and digest and tracked back to them some day.

  10. Peter says:

    I remember seeing a tv show about how the UK customs had introduced a commode with a self-sealing plastic bag to catch the poop of suspected mules. It can then be examined and probed by officers without the risk of gagging on the smell. That’s a job I’m glad I don’t have to do…

    • kaptinemo says:

      Well, they signed on for it. They want prohibition, with all its’ disgusting ancillary ‘benefits’ like this, they have no reason to bitch. No sympathy on that issue, ever…

      • Peter says:

        At the moment those employed in the prohibition industry think their jobs are so great that, in order to hang on to them, they are willing to cage other people for nothing, bankrupt the economy, fuel corruption, hand billions to criminal organizations and make a mockery of the application of law. Perhaps if we point out the (literally) shitty nature of these jobs they might not be so willing to save them regardless of the costs.

  11. claygooding says:

    The experienced ones can get jobs recycling corn and peanuts at the sewage treatment plants.

  12. Servetus says:

    OT: Tobacco is a ‘gateway’ drug in mice. Cocaine is not.

    Researchers from Columbia University are claiming discovery of a molecular basis in which nicotine ‘primes’ mouse brains for cocaine by making cocaine potentially more addictive. The reverse is not true for cocaine priming the mouse brain for tobacco addiction. There is nothing to indicate marijuana is involved in this same biochemical process.

    • darkcycle says:

      Interesting. That points to concurrent nicotine use as a contributing factor in cocaine addiction, not a “gateway sequence” (first time I have ever seen THAT alluded to, “gateway sequence” the way it is used here implies an accepted interpretation of a measured process…it is neither). If it were truly gateway drug, prior use would be enough to establish pathways to predispose people to addiction. It has been established that Maternal smoking during pregnancy greatly increases risk for adult nicotene dependence in offspring. But that does NOT extend to Marijuana use, the authors of this study explicitly concluded there was no increased use of pot in adult offspring.
      Here’s a quote and then the link to the abstract:
      “The odds of progressing from smoking to nicotine dependence were almost twice as great for offspring whose mothers smoked heavily during pregnancy. These significant differences remained after adjustments for participants’ gender and age and maternal socioeconomic status and age at pregnancy. Results were comparable for men and women. The findings were specific for tobacco dependence; odds of marijuana dependence were not significantly elevated among the offspring of tobacco smokers.”
      Based on this I say those conclusions were hastily drawn and the presentation of the research was quite shoddy. I’d have to see the methods and numbers to draw conclusions about the research itself, but if the abstract is an indication, it’s garbage.
      I’ll debate her conclusions anywhere anytime.

      • darkcycle says:

        Addendum: It seems that”gateway sequence” here refers to an INDIVDUAL’S progression sequence from softer drugs to hard drugs (in this case specifically to cocaine addiction). Not to a general sequence of progression from “soft” to hard drugs. In that sense an individual’s “Gateway Sequence” is a very different thing from the “Gateway theory” which says that using “X” soft drug will ultimately lead to (insert your demon drug of choice here)addiction. I would also add the confusion seems deliberate.

  13. stayan says:

    When I was working in healthcare we were constantly reminded about getting a patients consent before we tested them for sexually transmitted infections (this usually included swabs, a urine and blood specimen). Not only was it important to get consent to collect it, it was important to get consent for the infections we were testing for.

    Why are drug warriors excepted from the standards of ethical practice? I’m surprised there aren’t more cases of people suing the state for violations of consent.

    If I was ever told to pee in a cup or shit in a bag (thanks Peter), I would simply refuse to consent to the test.

  14. MaineGeezer says:

    The law wasn’t “made to look an ass.” The law did that all by itself.

  15. Duncan20903 says:

    You know, I think I got a email that said he’s trying to get his money out of the country. Typical drug dealer. He get’s caught, and sneaks away in the dead of night.
    I’ve always wondered what the next stop on the career path for a professional urine sample aggregator would be.

    Heard at a cocktail party, “Well I’m in urine now, but I expect a promotion any day now to feces inspector. The integrity of America’s human waste must be maintained and I’m flattered and grateful to have the opportunity to do such important work for our community. A person couldn’t find a better, more vital job.”

    Can’t let any bad shit happen, what kind of message would it send the…?

  16. Duncan20903 says:

    DC, I didn’t know you were a Barry Manilow fan. I alawys loved that song of his about the Copracabana too. His other stuff not so much. I do think the Dick Cheese version was better though. He made it much more relevant to my life in his version.

    It really does take talent to be able to cover Barry, Guns’n’Roses, and Michael Jackson so well, wouldn’t you say?

    [kop-ruh, koh-pruh]  
    cop·ra [kop-ruh, koh-pruh]

    the dried kernel or meat of the coconut from which coconut oil is expressed.

    • darkcycle says:

      Copro…the prefix is copro….
      Barry? Not so much…Nat King Cole? sometimes, Sinatra? a little, thanks, then I’m done.
      Aretha! yeah, all the time, Ella, sometimes. Etta James!!! Oh, Baby!…Ray Charles..give me more!
      My sister dated Bing’s grandson at one point, and I met him once just before he died when I was a kid (my Mother’s family was in show business), but if I hear one of his Christmas song’s I become homicidal.
      I actually like everything when it comes to music. I’ll happily listen to country-western while driving my truck then get all weepy over an Italian Opera when I get home (and I don’t have to change out of bluejeans to do it….).

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