If you wanna get down…

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The length that politians will go to control our lives and to try to prevent us from even thinking about drugs (which, of course, has the absolute opposite effect) is surreal.
Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan has joined in the fray in the fight to prevent us from drinking an energy drink called “Cocaine.”

“This is a product that glamorizes illegal drug use and it is highly irresponsible and reckless,” Attorney General Lisa Madigan said. “The State of Illinois will not tolerate its sale, especially to children.”
Madigan threatened legal action. She said marketing and sale of the product violates the state’s Consumer Fraud and Deceptive Practices Act because it promotes the illegal use of drugs. […]
Madigan said she has successfully stopped similar products from being sold, including, two years ago, Chronic Candy Pops, commonly called “pot suckers.”

Yes, that’s what our Attorney General does. And apparently we pay her a salary.
She also was instrumental in stripping away some of our 4th Amendement rights nationally, by pushing the Caballes case to the Supreme Court (allowing the “word” of a dog to determine sufficient cause for a vehicle search even when there was no suspicion).
Well, it sure is good to know that Lisa Madigan is watching out to make sure we don’t consume a product that has the same name as an illegal substance.
I am puzzled, however. I was just at the store, and Coca-Cola was still on the shelves. Odd.
I do hope that she’ll go after another blatant attempt to glamorize illegal drug use.
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As we all know, one of the main street names for smokable methamphetamine is “Ice.” Unfortunately, unscrupulous gas station attendants all over the state have been selling crystalized water under that same name. And they even let children as young as six years old purchase and consume it. They will certainly all grow up to be meth addicts and lose their teeth. And look how blatantly it is marketed to children! Disgusting.

All of this has given me the idea for a great product. Pot Brownies. I’d really like to see if someone could get away with commercial sales of this product…


Made from the best part of the plant*
Ingredients imported from Central America
and lovingly stirred in a pot

*cacao, that is

If you stir the ingredients in a pot, then you can call them Pot Brownies, can’t you?
Lisa? What do you think?
Update: Cocaine, the energy drink, has been pulled from shelves nationwide.

“Of course, we intended for Cocaine energy drink to be a legal alternative the same way that celibacy is an alternative to premarital sex,” [Redux Beverages partner Clegg] Ivey said. “It’s not the same thing and no one thinks it is. Our product doesn’t have any cocaine in it. No one thinks that it does. We think it is most likely legal in the United States to ship our product.” […]
What we would like to do is continue to fight to keep the name because it’s clearly the name that’s the problem,” Ivey said. “What we can’t do is distribute our product when regulators in the states and the FDA are saying that if you do this, you could go to jail.”

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