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September 2008
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Marijuana will wash your clothes, do your taxes, and walk your dog.

Now, all I have to do is send that statement to James Kinsella, Managing Editor of Cape Cod Today, and he’ll print it, merely “balancing” it by getting someone else to say “No, marijuana won’t wash your clothes, do your taxes, and walk your dog.”
Thus, readers will be left knowing only that there is some controversy regarding marijuana’s dog-walking, tax-preparing, clothes-laundering capabilities.
How do I know this? Merely look at yesterday’s article

“This is not your father’s marijuana of 20 or 30 years ago,” the district attorney [Michael O’Keefe] said. He said marijuana now is far more potent, and contains substances designed to addict the user.
He also said the rates of automobile and industrial accidents go up when marijuana is involved.
[Whitney] Taylor said statements that current marjuana is much more potent and is infused with addictive substances are “completely untrue.”

See, that’s true journalism. You don’t bother to ask the district attorney to back up his claims with citations or… facts. You don’t say “I can’t print that unless you give me some proof that it’s not a complete lie.” No, you go ahead and print it and turn it into a he-said/she-said piece. After all, it’s not your job as a journalist to inform people, but merely to entertain them and keep your sources happy, regardless of whether they are lying scumbags.
Congratulations James Kinsella on a job well done. Now, about marijuana’s ability to repair potholes…

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