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December 2006
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Drug Czar to Kids — Just drink alcohol and use steroids!

That does seem to be the message he’s giving here — he goes to a school to announce a massive $209,662 federal grant to a school district to do drug testing…
Well, unfortunately, for the Drug Czar, they’ve got some smart students in Florida:

Craig Zyburo, a Barron Collier senior, asked Walters why random testing targets these drugs only, while alcohol has been reported to be the most popular drug among high school students and there are more tobacco-related deaths.
“Unfortunately, alcohol does not stay in the blood long enough for the test to detect it,” explained Walters.

Ah. So the purpose of these drug tests is to get kids to switch to alcohol? Now what about the fact that the tests are focused on athletes. Certainly that means they’ll concentrate on performance enhancing drugs, right?

“Athletes should be tested for steroids only because that’s the only drug they use,” said Zyburo after the presentation. However, as Walters explained during a press conference held after the student assembly, the tests required to detect steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs, are much more expensive. While a regular drug test costs between $10 and $40 each, steroid testing can cost up to $100 each.

So we’ll just spend a lot of money testing for marijuana because we can.
Everybody line up and pee in a cup for the Drug Czar.

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