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April 2005
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Bush to re-classify Marijuana

Amazing news, and about time! From the New York Tribune:

April 1, 2005. WASHINGTON DC: President Bush today announced the administration’s decision to change the classification of cannabis (marijuana) under Controlled Substances Act (CSA) scheduling. While there had been some speculation that a re-classification from Schedule 1 to Schedule 2 might be possible to allow controlled use of so-called “medicinal” marijuana, the President surprised experts by removing marijuana from the CSA entirely.

“The federal government has more important things to do than waste a lot of time and money on marijuana enforcement,” said the President. “There are terrorists out there who hate our freedoms, and our efforts should be focused on them.”

When asked if he really intended that marijuana should be declassified not only for medical purposes but for recreational purposes as well, President Bush replied. “Well, that’s up to the states, as it should be. I believe that each state can choose that decision as they so choose.”

Some critics charge that the decision is simply a matter of the President pandering to the traditional conservative base that supports states’ rights. Complaints that the Republican leadership had abandoned federalism had been threatening to cause a split within the party.

Legal scholars are scrambling to figure out how this decision may affect the upcoming Supreme Court ruling in Raich v. Ashcroft.

Hmmm, I think I’ll find out where the nearest National Park is.

[An April Fools Post. Have a great day.]

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