New study

Ecstasy causes depression in laboratory pigs
As if being a laboratory pig wasn’t depressing.
So I had a chat with Porky, recently released, about his experiments with ecstasy.

“It’s not that the E was so bad,” he said. “It was the bloody awful Kenny G music they played. You couldn’t dance to it at all. Give me a patch of mud, some good dance music and glow sticks, and I’ll be a lot less depressed.”

I thought about it, and decided on roast pork instead.